I remember Mom wanting this song to be sung by Karissa at her funeral. Tonight, that memory fills my mind.
My oldest brother died sometime today. My sister, his angel on earth, found him tonight, quiet and still, in his new chair.
We knew this day would come. In some ways, we had expected it for a long time. In other ways, we were shocked to find out.
He lived a hard life, a life tormented by inner struggles, and the only way he could drown the struggle was through alcohol. Everyone who knew my brother knew him to be sweet and kind, always quiet and easy to be around. My parents lived with the pain of wanting to help him when he didn’t want help, not real help, anyway. That burden was passed on to my sister a year ago, and she became his companion and caretaker and “Mom” – an angel on earth. Mom and Dad knew what they were doing when they named her Angela…
I am grateful tonight for my sister. She is simply the best.
I am grateful tonight that I have some wonderful memories of my brother.
- He was the best babysitter sibling and I loved when HE was in charge of my care.
- He loved my little girls and gave them their first baby dolls.
- He always sent a card for my birthday.
- Even when he was drunk, he was kind. As he sat in a cheap motel in one of his worst predicaments ever, he held my hand and told me he loved me.
- He loved his aunts, and by his chair tonight, he had the Johnson Family Address Book, keeping it close by.
- He was my defender in my darkest moment and loved ME unconditionally.
I am sorry that I failed at being a better sister to him this past year, and I am wishing I had one more opportunity to give him a hug and tell him how much I love him and offer to help him get help.
But I am grateful tonight that Steve has no more night, no more pain, no more tears…
And I am holding on to hope that Mom and Steve and our sister Judy are reunited once again.
rhondaisgrateful 
Wow. So intensely moving. I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for allowing us to witness your vulnerability, and for sharing your raw emotion with us. I am praying for you sis. Praying you feel better and your strength be renewed. God bless ❤
Peace of the Lord to you, my friend. I know Steve has peace and is free of pain and sorrows.
I’m so sorry for your loss! I will be praying for God’s love and peace to continually filled in you! I love you and miss you so! Been thinking about you and Sam a lot lately!! Your always on my mind and I’m always praying!
As I listen to this beautiful song and I remember my own memories of sweet, quiet Steve… I find myself weeping. I remember the heart aches that your Family faced, I remember the unconditional love and prayers lifted up for this special, quiet Soul named Steve! Our last conversation… I remember him softly telling me when he was a teenager he had always had a crush on my Sister Sherrie…. I giggled. Our Families lives have been so intertwined throughout the years and it has been one of my biggest blessings in life! I count it a treasure to have known and loved Steve Ferguson. My heart goes out to all of you. Angela…. you are an Angel! I know Steve appreciated all you have done for him! To all of you… may you find comfort in knowing…. he is free of any pain… and probably in the arms of His beautiful Mother, Grace, as we speak. I love you all, my cherished Friends! Praying for comfort and Peace!
I am so sorry to hear this – my prayers are with you! Sorry we couldn’t connect this weekend while I was in KC. Planning to move to Salina in a couple of years, so we can see each other a lot more, my friend!
Rhonda- I am so sorry for your loss. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers.