I am grateful for a beautiful weekend in Texas with my daughter and her family.

I am grateful for Memorial Day, remembering last year of walking through the cemetery in Haviland with my Dad and my brother and sharing memories while placing flowers at each grave. I missed the experience this year, but Dad was able to go and carry on the tradition and spend some time…

I am grateful for time spent singing in the van with Anissa, Andrae, and Annistan: “Skinnamarink-y-dink-y-dink, skinnamarink-y-doo, I love you! I love you in the morning, and in the afternoon. I love you in the evening, underneath the moon…”

“Six little ducks that I once knew, fat ones, skinny ones, fair ones, too, but the one little duck with the feather on his back, he led the others with a quack quack quack!” 

“This old man, he played one, he played knick knack on his thumb, with a knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone, this old man came rolling home.” 

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray, you’ll never know dear, how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away.”

I am grateful for these six words spoken from a sad little face, “I don’t want you to leave.”

I am grateful for the warmth and comfort I feel in Dad’s apartment.

I am grateful for “new truck smell,” and grateful that Sam will smell it every day now.

I am grateful for time spent cracking eggs with Anissa and slicing cheese with Andrae for our breakfast cheesy scrambled eggs. Not quite “baking cookies” I expected to do with them this past weekend, but it was time spent in the kitchen, so it’ll do just fine.

I am grateful that Ron and Pam put this quote in their bulletin, that it meant something to Dad, and that he shared it with me:

God’s love still stands when all else has fallen. In my life, everything had fallen. Every day I stood on roll call in a concentration camp where 96,000 women had died. In front of us stood a guard who enjoyed demonstrating his cruelty. I could hardly bear to see and hear what happened around us. But then a skylark started to sing, and when I looked up to see the bird and saw the endless sky, I remembered Psalm 103: “As the heaven is high above the earth, so great is God’s mercy and love toward them that fear Him.” I awakened to the reality that God’s love still stood. God sent that skylark every day during roll call to keep my eyes turned in the right direction. – Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

I am grateful for pony tail curls and bows and grateful that Anissa and Annistan have a Daddy who does a great job of making them look pretty for church.

I am grateful for training wheels and the feelings I had of seeing two little precious children riding their bikes down the sidewalk on Saturday morning.

I am grateful for the smell of baby lotion on a chunky beautiful baby Anjalie after her bath.

I am grateful that there is not a “clean” page in my purse-sized notebook – it’s full of hearts and stars and pictures of Mommy and Daddy and doggies and kitties and flowers and my name and Mommy’s name and Daddy’s name and bumblebees and butterflies and snakes and houses and suns and clouds and and and…

I am grateful for laughter in the kitchen with Mandrae and Karissa as they told us their horseback riding story.

I am grateful for a little girl who quietly said, “I love you, Ama,” when the light was turned off for the night.

I am grateful that we took the time to sit on the porch in the quiet of this morning to enjoy the cool air and listen to the birds and reflect on the weekend.

I am grateful that my Dad is still climbing nine flights of stairs every day and he no longer needs to stop to catch his breath at the 6^th floor.

Finally, we’re no longer expecting.  What a beautiful sound. It has been a long wait, but the big day arrived this weekend, and now the nursery is full and Mama is busy busy busy. Robin’s babies are here, and I am grateful for the sounds of very hungry little ones.

I am grateful for mornings after a rain.

I am grateful for the success we have had with Advocare and for the way it has changed our eating habits and lifestyle in order to shed the extra pounds and become healthier in the process. I am grateful that Mandrae and Karissa shared their success with me and encouraged me to try it.

I am grateful for Zak and Katrina, because they introduced me to Bob Goff’s “Love Does;” for Aunt Patsy and Mark, because they introduced me to John Fischer’s “12 Steps for the Recovering Pharisee (like me);” for Kathy, because she introduced me to “TrueFaced: Trust God and Others with Who You Really Are;” for Ron, because he sent me M.Scott Peck’s book, “The Road Less Traveled;” and Mardel, because it was there that I found the book “Divorce & Remarriage: A Redemptive Theology” by Rubal Shelly. I am grateful for these books that have been instrumental in my healing, along with the Word of God and my daily devotions.

I am grateful for cinnamon and sugar, mixed together.

I am grateful for a dry cleaning company that picks up and delivers.

I am grateful for the picture of the sunrise on the water that Dwight sent this morning.

I am grateful for memories of a beautiful Wednesday wedding, seven years ago, in North Richland Hills, Texas. 

Happy Anniversary

I am grateful for bills paid.

I am grateful for my church.

I am grateful for families who want to make a positive difference in the life of a child who has been rejected or neglected or abused.

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can cut like a knife.

I am grateful for moments that I catch myself before allowing my tongue to be a weapon.

I am grateful for another opportunity this weekend to see my Texas grandchildren – three weeks in a row. It will be difficult to say goodbye this time, because I do not know when I will see them again…

I am grateful for a “new” pair of jeans from a co-worker, and grateful that I am struggling to keep them pulled up. 

Hurting someone can be as easy as throwing a stone in the sea. But do you have any idea how deep that stone can go?

 

I am grateful for parents and grandparents who teach their children good manners and who gently train them when they exhibit bad manners.

I am grateful for fast Internet.

I am grateful for the presence and conviction of the Holy Spirit in my life. 

And I am grateful for the music of The Carpenters.

I am grateful for men who tuck their shirts in.

I am grateful for the crinkling sound of a potato chip bag – it was so pleasant this morning coming from my boss’s office. Almost like eating those wonderfully delicious salty crispy potato gifts…

I am grateful that I am almost 50 and don’t want to go back in time. I love being a little older and seeing how much I have changed in 20+ years. My parents had to have shook their heads in disbelief at some of the things I said and did back then.

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

I am grateful for the tears that flowed last night when I got home from class. I wanted to share my proud moment with Mom and couldn’t. You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone…oh, if I could just hear her voice again.

I am grateful for completion of my CASA training and certification.

I am grateful for our leader Abby and the training she facilitated. Her passion and enthusiasm were just what I needed to finish what I started.

I am grateful for fun memories of watching episodes of “Bewitched.” I loved that show as a little girl. I wanted to grow up to look like Elizabeth Montgomery or my other favorite, Barbara Eden.

I was reminded of “Bewitched” last night when we talked about how if only we could stop time and figure out the right things to say and do for our CASA kids before the world moved on and they turned 18 and aged out of the system.

The nose wiggle that would make life interesting.

So strange how God just lays out coincidences. I got home last night after completing my training, had a little cry all by myself, and then turned on the tv. The last two minutes of a Law and Order episode was on, and the scene was a judge making a TPR (termination of parental rights) ruling for a small child and asking the detective who apparently had been on the case if she would consider becoming the foster parent for the child. It was such a sweet, tender ending to a show I didn’t watch, but it was so fitting that I happened to see that moment, a moment I will soon experience in court. And then, when I read my church devotions this morning, this was the added insight:

By the time our son came to live with us at the age of 10, he had already seen the inside of many courtrooms. Having spent half of his life in the foster system, to him courtrooms were where new moms and dads were assigned. Judges were the people who asked him odd questions and eventually decided that he couldn’t see his biological parents again. Hearings were painful reminders of the reality of the situation.

So when we adopted our son, I wanted so badly for him to realize that this trip to the courtroom was unlike all of the previous ones. So beyond the legal aspects, we made the decision to celebrate this unifying of our family in a covenant ceremony. The night of the adoption, we gathered in front of a small group of friends at the church. Together, my husband and I made these promises to our son:

We are so happy that you are our son
We promise to do our best to be good parents
We will keep you safe and protect you
We will be here to listen to you
We will be here to guide you when life is hard or confusing
We will cheer you on and celebrate your victories
We will learn from the love that God has for His children, and we will do our best to love you that same way.

We had this ceremony so that he would know that this was new. This was special. This was forever…

I LOVE THIS!

…I imagine that as Christians reading the story of the flood, we’re meant to have a similar understanding through the message of the rainbow. The rainbow is a promise – a message. The rainbow says, “There may be times of danger and uncertainty, but I am with you.” It says, “I have not forgotten you, nor will I forsake you.” The rainbow is our opportunity to hear God whisper, “You have to know that our relationship is special – it’s different. You are forever my child.”

As an adoptive mom, one of my greatest desires is for my son to understand the fullness of our relationship and my love for him. If I have this deep yearning within my heart, I can only imagine how much greater this must be for the One who adopts us into His eternal family. No matter the weather outside, we’re meant to claim the message of the rainbow as our own. To do anything less means that we’re not fully grasping what God so desperately wants to say to us – that we are, and will forever be, His. – Janelle Gregory

What a perfect message that was for me today, and so timely.

When asked for some final thoughts at the end of class last night, a fellow classmate said that he has been a CASA for three years now, and there are times when he has absolutely no clue what he’s doing, if he’s doing it right, or what to do next. But there’s one thing he DOES know, and it’s why he is an advocate:  “I’ll be the one adult in my ‘child’s’ life who is consistently there, listens, and who gives a damn about them.” So in closing, I am grateful for Bill and his final thoughts that put it all into perspective for me.

Very random thoughts today:

I am grateful for privacy and for people who respect it.

I am grateful that my Mom taught me to wash trash cans with soapy water so they don’t smell bad.

I am grateful for onion rings and miss sharing an order with Mom.

I am grateful for a sticky notecard this morning. As I sat at the table to write some notecards to send, the first one stuck to the table, and then I realized that it was because of a small smear of pancake syrup from breakfast on Monday morning with those beautiful grandchildren.  That is something to definitely be grateful about.

I am grateful for two young girls who have now decided that it is a good thing to volunteer at an assisted living facility, so they took over Bingo last night, leaving me the freedom to sit at a table with Avis and Beulah and participate.

I am grateful for a bouquet of orange roses to enjoy at the breakfast table.

I am grateful for an email from Charlie and Patsy.

I am grateful that tonight is my last night of class.

It is the purest sign that we love someone if we choose to spend time idly in their presence when we could be doing something more constructive. – S. Cassidy

 

I am grateful that my Mom and Dad taught me that girls do not look or sound very pretty when they use bad language.  It’s true, in my opinion. I witness this on a daily basis, and it isn’t beautiful at all.

I am grateful that I like to be clean and smell good, so I am grateful for soap and shampoo and facial cleanser and q-tips and towels that don’t smell bad and my toothbrush and toothpaste and mouthwash and laundry detergent and dryer sheets…and deodorant.

I am grateful for antibacterial wipes. I’m on a clean kick today, I guess.

I am grateful for the willpower to package all of the peanut butter oatmeal cookies for Max without snitching even one of them for myself.

I am grateful for the hymn, “O to be like Thee,” one of my many prayers for today:

Oh! to be like Thee, blessed Redeemer, 
This is my constant longing and prayer; 
Gladly I’ll forfeit all of earth’s treasures, 
Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear. 

Refrain: 
Oh! to be like Thee, oh! to be like Thee, 
Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art; 
Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness; 
Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart. 

Oh! to be like Thee, full of compassion, 
Loving, forgiving, tender and kind, 
Helping the helpless, cheering the fainting, 
Seeking the wand’ring sinner to find. 

Oh! to be like Thee, lowly in spirit, 
Holy and harmless, patient and brave; 
Meekly enduring cruel reproaches, 
Willing to suffer, others to save. 

Oh! to be like Thee, while I am pleading, 
Pour out Thy Spirit, fill with Thy love, 
Make me a temple meet for Thy dwelling, 
Fit me for life and Heaven above.

Even though it may seem like I share everything here, I am grateful that I have learned to remain private about most things in my life and have learned the value of discretion.

Face your problems instead of facebooking them.

I am grateful that God didn’t give up on me, that He didn’t decide that because I wasn’t perfect I should be thrown out, that He understood my hurt and pain, that when others couldn’t or didn’t forgive, He did. I am grateful that He cared not only about their story, their hurt, and their pain, but He also cared about MY story, MY hurt, MY pain. That I mattered, too. I am grateful that He placed people in my life to be Jesus to me, to hold my hand through the flood. I am grateful for second chances, for my Jesus who chooses to associate with sinners, for new beginnings, for beauty from ashes, for grace to forgive and let go of my past, and for the realization that things won’t be the same and grateful for hope that they can and will be better.

I am grateful for a poignant message on Sunday with the reminder that God had to tell Noah to “get out of the ark” when Noah and family found themselves landing on Mount Ararat in a new place that was unfamiliar and possibly scary. Sometimes, even though that miserable place feels comfortable and safe, because it is familiar and what we know, we need that push to “get out of the ark” and take that risk, because God is right here with us, and even in the “in-between” times when we are on the water and do not hear His voice or see where He is leading, He is working on our behalf, and He is preparing the way for our next adventure. Our job is to trust and get out of the boat.

I am grateful to have had the privilege of sitting in my church with my daughter and son-in-law seated next to us. What an extra special blessing that was on Sunday to experience while this hymn was sung:

Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer!

That calls me from a world of care,
And bids me at my Father’s throne
Make all my wants and wishes known.
In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief,
And oft escaped the tempter’s snare,
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer!

I am grateful to have been scolded by my boss this morning. I needed that figurative slap on the wrist and his insightful wisdom.

Which also reminds me that I am so grateful for simple wisdom from my Dad last night, when he said, “That’s all that was needed at this point in time.”

I am grateful that I only have one more class before I will be introduced to my CASA kid. It’s almost time…

I am grateful for good manners from the smallest of children. Andrae is only two years old, but he was the sweetest little guy when he quietly told Sam on Saturday evening, “You have a nice house.” And he and Anissa never had to be reminded to say “Thank you.” They have been taught well.

I am grateful for the genuine love of a little girl – for the feel of her hand in mine, for the sweet words heard over and over again, “I want you to sit by ME, Ama.”

I am grateful for leftovers that tasted so wonderful when I got home from class last night. Thank you for having dinner ready, Sam. And thank you for time spent without the distraction of the TV so that we could just visit while eating a late meal together.

I am grateful for a clean car – it feels so good when the car is clean on the inside and outside.

I am grateful to know the power of a sincere and heartfelt “thank you,” as well as the sting of insincerity and ingratitude, and I am grateful that my parents taught me how powerful those words can be.

I am grateful the kids had a safe trip home and Dwight and family made it safely to Mexico.

I am grateful for a quiet evening to have s’mores on the patio with Mandrae, Karissa, and the grandchildren.

I am grateful for the opportunity to make breakfast for the kids as three little faces watched me and kept me company while they sat around the island in the kitchen.

I am grateful for Lisa and wish she were going to be on the choir trip this year.

I am grateful for small handprints on the glasstop tables and the patio door. Sorry, Windex. You won’t be needed while this Ama hangs on to the memories.

I am grateful for a kids menu from Jack Stack that is colored from corner to corner in green and orange, complete with these instructions from Anissa: “Hang this on your ‘frigerator, Ama!”

I am grateful for Sam who has such a big heart and was so excited to have little ones come and visit that he went out and bought a tree swing, mowed the yard and had it looking beautiful, and then worked so hard to get the swing hung in the extremely tall tree before they all arrived on Saturday afternoon.

I am grateful for sweet little phrases that come from the mouths of children:  “Ama, I wanna swing in circles, not stripes!” (Picture Anissa sitting in the swing that hangs in the tree from a single rope, easily adaptable for swinging in big circles or the common back-and-forth motion, now known as “stripes.”)  Or Andrae’s eyes focused, forehead scrunched, just after having successfully hit the ball with the bright blue plastic bat, and out of his silly mouth, he said, “Good shot!” or “Nice pitch!”  or, when he struck out, “Bad pitch!”

I am grateful that my Texas grandchildren like to sing.

And I am grateful for giggles in the darkness of the evening, as Annistan struggled to wind down for the bedtime story and Anjalie decided it was time to play and treat Ama to that priceless sound of a baby’s laughter.

I am grateful for dental floss.

I am grateful for zippers that work.

I am grateful for running water.

I am grateful for cushioning in shoes.

I am grateful for time spent with Orlando and Jeanette last night.

I am grateful for homemade chocolate chip cookies.

I am grateful for the ability to learn, the ability that never ends, and I am grateful to have been humbled in my CASA class. I didn’t have an edge up. I have a lot to learn about teenagers in the foster care system…

I am grateful for unexpected answers to prayer.

I am grateful that everything this week makes me think of these four:

I am grateful for drive-through car washes that result in a clean car.

I am grateful for the beauty of a sparkling clean, filled, swimming pool that is ready for summer in the neighborhood.

I am grateful for the fact that we have an array of colorful birds to watch in the back yard.

I am grateful for band-aids.

I am grateful for a new purse for the choir trip and summer.

I am grateful for crackers.

I am grateful that I do not have a permanent scowl on my face and my mouth doesn’t have an obvious, natural frown. At least I hope it doesn’t. I’ve seen two women in the last few hours that need some serious laughter and joy injected into their face. 

I am grateful for a clean refrigerator.

I am grateful for a chair that swivels and has casters.

And I am grateful for “angels” in my life who have been sent by God to speak life, truth, grace, and peace, and who are right there when I need them most, when I had no idea I needed them…

I am grateful for videos of my grandchildren reciting their scripture verse for the week and of Anissa “chauffeuring” her baby sister through the house as she rides in her new walker.

Ephesians 2:19

NASCAR, here we come.

I am grateful for happy secrets.

I am grateful that I have class tonight and feel like I have an edge-up on the others. We’ll see…

I am grateful for Minsky’s pizza for dinner last night.

And I am grateful for pleasant memories of childhood:

Dish strainers and those multi-colored tupperware cups

A pen with five colors 

Homemade noodles drying on a dish towel on the lid of the washing machine – oh my goodness, I want some right now

Gold shag carpet that we had to rake every Saturday

Pipe cleaner dolls when I had to stay home because I was sick

Screen doors on a spring that slammed shut

Rotary phones 

Listening to the CBS Radio Mystery Theater on the way home from church or Haviland when it was dark outside

Catching lightning bugs in a jar

Walking to piano lessons on Saturdays with my sister from the station to Mrs. Good’s house

Long licorice ropes in the glass case at the drug store

Merry-go-rounds 

Slides that burned your legs

Extra dough from homemade pie crusts that were baked and sprinkled with cinnamon/sugar

The smell of the Haven Library 

Matching quilted maxi skirts

Paper dolls

Tractor tire flower beds

The chicken at Snack Haven

Vacation Bible School workbooks that smelled so good and came with lots of stickers

Seeing Mom in shorts and knowing it meant one of two things – either it was a long, awful day of cleaning, or we were headed to Cheney Lake

Vacation Bible School crafts: sand art and matchstick crosses – I loved those the best.

Getting a new fish for the fish tank when I didn’t cry at the doctor’s office

Playing that board game with the cute couples – The Dating Game? –  that belonged to Sue Foley

Spring band concerts in the old high school gym in Haven – I was so impressed with Mr. Lee but remember he had such a funny shape as he stood on his podium and directed the band.

The meat locker and Laundromat that we didn’t visit very often

Cleaning windshields better than everyone else, and knowing how to check and add oil and washer fluid

The smell of alfalfa at the elevator

Buster Brown shoes and clothes at the dime store and the unforgettable Hempsteads

The time I stole a piece of candy from Gibson’s and Mom marched me back in to give it back and apologize and the time I stole a piece of gum from Ron and Mom made me march out to the living room and confess to Dad. SO SCARY.

Playing in the rabbit pen in the back yard

Parent night at the grade school when our art was hung in the hallways and we had to perform our solos

Fifi and Sneakers

Elm bugs

The big spools we used to walk/roll on all over the front yard

Auctioning picnic baskets made by the girls/women at church

The cat figurines in the front window

Freaking out over KC and the Sunshine Band in Meleigh’s basement and swooning over Peter Frampton

Dreading every step of the way to swim lessons in the summertime

The Tilt-a-Whirl at the Haven Fall Festival

Listening to music in the boys’ bedroom…The Lettermen, The Carpenters, and this song:

Gary Lewis & the Playboys

My work day begins with this:

10,000 Reasons

It is a perfect way to start the day, with a reminder to notice 10,000 reasons to sing and not complain, to be grateful and not harbor bitterness, to guard my tongue and change my thought patterns in order to think kindly of others and pray blessings on everyone I meet, to remind myself that my reason for singing is because He gave me a song, and I am to live that song in everything I do, every action I take, every thought I think, and every word I speak. 

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

I am grateful for an absence of complaints and nagging in my life. Yesterday, the radio program I happened to be listening to was focused on people who nag and complain constantly and what a drag they are to all who hear. Someone called in and said, “My wife can nag the rust off a fender.” I used to be like that, and I hope that I am no longer that person. I know what it is like to be around someone who cannot say anything nice, who has to constantly argue and dwell on the negative rather than the positive. It IS a drag, and it makes me want to avoid the negativity. I am grateful that God has worked in my life and has shown me how to share love, how to build up and not tear down, and how to find those 10,000 reasons to sing.

But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. James 3:8-10

 

I am grateful for time in the office to begin my day in prayer and devotions.

I am grateful for mail. My mail last night included a newsletter from Central Oregon YFC, with an article that my son-in-law wrote about his group and their Easter sunrise service. I am grateful for his ability to write with such descriptive detail that transplants the reader into the moment. My mail also included two cards from Delores that will be kept and treasured. It is so nice to receive something in the mail that is not an advertisement or a bill.

I am grateful for another cool morning to enjoy wearing a sweater, because the hot days are soon to arrive and these crisp mornings will be a memory.

I am grateful that my Texas grandchildren are being taught to say “Thank you,” when given a gift or when someone does something for them. It was so noticeable this past weekend and their “thank you’s” were not preceded with, “What do you say?” or “Tell Ama thank you,” but shared freely because they have been taught to be grateful.

I am grateful for the little bluebirds of happiness that Mom had on her kitchen windowsill.

Yesterday, I was grateful for the lessons I have learned from my Dad about talking less and listening more. Today, I am grateful for Sam and for the lessons he has taught me about taking an interest in others rather than focusing a conversation on myself. I still have a lot to learn and find myself talking WAY too much about myself when I sense awkward silence. We are so impressed with those in the “younger generations” who are more interested in reaching out to others and want to learn someone else’s story rather than being self-absorbed and commandeering a conversation to be all about them. I am grateful for our conversation this morning about the necessity for those in ministry to talk less and listen more, and our need to be more cognizant of doing this within our own families. It is a good reminder for me to think about my conversations in the last week – did I listen more than I spoke? Did I learn anything about who they are, what they do, what their defining story is? Or did I dominate the conversations I had with them focused on tales about me, about my life, about my views, about my world?

I am grateful that I am never too old, too set in my ways, to learn.

…You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore.

I am grateful that this will play on my internal jukebox today: I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free…

O Happy Day

So much to be grateful for, so little time to type it all out…

I am grateful for the best daughters in the world.

I am grateful for the most adorable grandchildren in the world.

I am grateful for my sons-in-law who put forth extra effort to do something special for their wives yesterday.

I am grateful that Katrina had an overwhelming but good first day of work at her summer job, and grateful that it seems to be a match made in Heaven for their “calling in life.” As Delores said during our conversation yesterday, we only see the unfinished side of the tapestry, but God sees the beautiful finished creation. I believe that this job opportunity is another stitch in the Caldwell tapestry.

I am grateful for the creativity of my daughter and her desire to serve her church in every possible way she can.

I am grateful for the silliness of Andrae’s remark as he ate his eggs, “It’s not my faut!”

I am grateful for two little faces in their carseats in the backseat of the van with smiles from ear to ear and eyes sparkling, saying, “Happy Mother’s Day, Ama!”, completely unprompted, as they were telling me goodbye yesterday.

I am grateful for lots of time on the phone with my Dad, Delores, Karissa, Katrina, and Sam, while I drove eight hours yesterday. Those conversations made the time pass and kept me from getting sleepy, and I loved talking as long as I wanted to everyone.

I am grateful for good battery life on my phone that lasted all the way with the exception of the last 15 miles.

I am grateful for safety as I traveled. No issues, no problems.

I am grateful for the feeling I had when I pulled into the driveway last night and saw Sam sitting on the front porch. It’s a wonderful feeling to have someone waiting for me and eager to see me after a trip.

I am grateful for an abundance of public restrooms and the freedom to stop whenever I wanted.

I am grateful to have spent 30 minutes with Coach and Terry in the McDonald’s just to catch up on life.

I am grateful for an absence of cravings. I used to walk into a convenience store while on a trip and immediately want snacks – especially chips or M&Ms. Instead, I purchased a small Ziploc bag of sliced apples and a healthy granola bar. And no more tea or soda for me – now, it’s only large water, thank you.

I am grateful to have spent some time in the car with Mandrae and Karissa, laughing.

I am grateful for a beautiful wreath made with love by my daughter, personalized with her favorite pattern and a giraffe print to remind me of Katrina, too.

I am grateful to have seen Anjalie’s smiles tucked between her two fat cheeks. She has the “Collins sparkle” in those eyes, too.

I am grateful to have watched Annistan’s orneriness and grateful to have been able to tuck her into her new little toddler bed, pray with her, and kiss her good night.

I am grateful to have heard Anissa’s giggles and so grateful to have heard everywhere we went, “Ama, I want you to sit by ME.”

I am grateful for an extended amount of time to hold Andrae as he cuddled with me on Friday evening.

I am grateful for this, my favorite children’s book:

I am grateful to have been raised by my Mom. She wasn’t perfect, but as I get older, I realize she was much closer to perfect than I ever knew.  And she loved me no matter what.

I am grateful for Delores – if I can’t talk to Mom, I’m so glad I can talk to her.

I am grateful to have attended a church service with my daughter and her family yesterday at their church that was intent on honoring Moms. 

I am grateful to have been lucky enough to have Anissa and Andrae help me make scrambled eggs again.

I am grateful for my Dad and his example to me to be slow to speak and listen more.

I am grateful to have heard my daughter sing again.

I am grateful to have heard my daughter and her husband sing together again in church yesterday for their children during the baby dedication, seven years after their wedding day.

I am grateful for a little notebook that has Anissa’s drawings in it. She can spell her name, my “name,” and her Mommy’s name now.

I am grateful for time spent singing with Anissa and Andrae. Little Bunny Foo-Foo, Ten little monkeys jumping on a bed, God made me, This little light of mine, Miss Polly had a dolly who was sick sick sick, Arky arky, Old Dan…

I am grateful for time this morning to visit with Sam in the quiet of the kitchen.

I am grateful for two little girls who hid in the middle of the clothing racks at the store, so that all I could see were four little feet in flower-adorned flip-flops.

I am grateful that I was able to sing “I love you, a bushel and a peck…” to Annistan and Anjalie as I held them. I just know that it is what Mom would have done if she were here.

I am grateful to have seen Anissa and Andrae riding their bikes up and down the sidewalk.

I am grateful to have had the privilege to watch Karissa hold Annistan and Anjalie with such tender, loving embraces.

And I am grateful for a video that my daughter surprised me with when I got to work this morning. Nothing like starting the day in tears, but, oh so grateful that these are happy tears this year.

To my mom and my kids’ Ama. I love u.