We have 10+ inches of snow on the ground today. Sam scooped and scooped and scooped yesterday under a blanket of grayness, and then in the darkness of last night, 4 inches fell, leaving him a full day of work again today.

Whereas yesterday was dreary and shades of ash in the sky, this morning, the yard is diamond sparkle bright, and everything is covered in white brilliance.

Mom went to heaven 8 years ago yesterday.

Mom spent her first day in heaven (as we know days) 8 years ago today.

*****

I am grateful for the beauty of snow.

I am grateful for the much needed moisture.

I am grateful for two guys in this house who take care of the sidewalk and the driveway and the steps and then take care of other driveways, too.

I am grateful for sunshine that causes squints and requires sunglasses.

I am grateful for snow storms that stir memories of 8 years ago, causing the heavy blanket hurt ache but also brings back sunshine bright memories of my Mom.

I am grateful for gray skies that bring the diamond snow. There are so many simple lessons in that…

This was the sunrise this morning, a promise that He makes all things new.

I am grateful for the ability to swallow pills, because it IS a skill not everyone possesses.

I am grateful for sweat in 25 degrees and a hot shower afterwards with a warm towel, compliments of Sam I Am.

I am grateful for a boss friend who gifted me with base layer pants that I didn’t even know had been invented, long wool socks, and a thick neck warmer, all layers THAT MAKE ME SWEAT IN 25 DEGREES.

I am grateful for brooms and vacuums. I have this thing about cleaning.

On that note, I am grateful I just have a THING about cleaning. A former neighbor, many years ago, had an unhealthy thing about cleaning and VACUUMED HIS HOME EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE WEEK. That’s a regular appointment with a therapist if you ask me.

I am grateful for leftovers when leftovers are actually good.

I am grateful for leftover containers with lids.

I am grateful for laughter. It is better than swallowing pills, and I’ve heard does just as much good.

I am grateful for evenings on a couch in front of the fire, watching game shows, or ballgames, or news, or a movie, or Bull – with Sam by my side, and cats in the vicinity to interrupt and entertain.

I am grateful for exhaustion at the end of a long week – this week, it means life was lived to the FULLEST.

Ah, the sunset…a gift that welcomes the beginning of a weekend full of promise and possibility.

…so are the days of our lives.

It is harder to hate up close.

I was on my walk this morning and listening to a really good book. That sentence made me think of examples in my life where that rang true.

My mom and dad used to have coffee at a café on Main Street and their regular waitress’ arms and neck were covered with tattoos. If they had observed her walking across the street or coming out of a tattoo parlor, the impression would have been completely different, but because she was their every day waitress who had a smile and a name and knew their order before they ever spoke, and because they knew a little of her story and why she chose the tattoos, they considered her a friend.

As I was walking, the sun began to wake up small town USA. Two blocks away, I heard Foghorn Leghorn’s broken record, and my first thought was, “If I lived next door to THAT, we’d be having fried chicken for dinner.” But then I thought, “Or maybe not. If I lived next door to a rooster, I would probably want a rooster for a pet.”

It’s the same, isn’t it? It is harder to hate when you know, up close, the person…or the creature.

We only know what we know. We know people by 1) getting to know them up close and personal, or 2) hearing about people from other sources.

Someone very dear to me chooses to include those who are the outcasts of society. If he listened to the average citizen and avoided because of rumors, he would not have near the friends and support that he has now.

We all have a story and a past; some of our stories and pasts would make the average Joe cringe. I know mine would and HAS made others cringe. We all believe certain ways regarding faith and theology. We put our stake in certain political parties. We gravitate toward certain types of music or movies. We might have purple hair or piercings in places unusual, or we might be one who only wears dresses or burqas or turbans. We might not speak the same language, might have a different shade of epidermis.

All these pieces of humanity have the potential for creating hate for others who are not like me. All these also have the potential for expanding our circle of support, our network of friends, our color wheel of community, IF WE WILL DARE TO GET UP CLOSE.

Today, I am grateful for a lesson from a great book in the early morning.

I am grateful for a partner who loves and accepts without a critical eye.

I am grateful for time on a morning walk to learn something worthwhile.

I am grateful for friends and family who do not post or speak hate toward politicians they do not know personally and have only heard about through their versions of news and information. I need to do better, because I KNOW better.

I am grateful that God gave me a heart that is sensitive and a conscience that twinges when I say or post something potentially offensive to others or those I know are unkind toward those they do not know up close.

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them…

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:29b, 32 NLT

I am grateful for a sister who teaches me and others to set a bigger table rather than build a bigger wall. Our guests ALL have a story to tell and are precious in His sight.

I am grateful that I have an attitude of HOPE and POSITIVE ANTICIPATION for 2021, not despair.

I am grateful for colorful friends who are not like me.

I am pretty grateful that I am so very blessed and I am grateful that God reminds me to not take my blessings for granted.

And I am grateful for a rooster who makes me smile.

I am grateful for stress-free days.

I am grateful for hot cocoa.

I am grateful for nice tea towels.

I am grateful for highways that are smooth and not bumpy.

I am grateful for heated seats in January.

I am grateful for someone with a really funny laugh.

I am grateful for a free birthday bagel from Einstein’s.

I am grateful for text messages with my daughters.

I am grateful for pink orange 5:30 pm skies.

I am grateful for a sister who shares her dessert.

I am grateful for McAlister’s tea.

And I am grateful for podcasts that keep us company on a late night drive home.

To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives – the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections – that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only truly grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment.…Let us not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God. – Henri Nouwen

The sun is shining. The Chiefs will be playing. I am not starving. I am working to improve my physical body as well as my soul. I have Sam by my side and am loved. I have a son and three daughters who make me very proud. I am the Ama of 12 beautiful grandchildren. I have two cats whose purring gives me contentment and smiles. I have a job that I love and a home that I love. I am walking again in the fresh air, and now I am beginning to realize how tough an elliptical can be, thanks to Sam’s birthday gift to me. I have contact with friends and family and church quite easily via the internet. I have wonderful neighbors. My Dad is alive and well. I am drinking healthy smoothies now, complete with fresh strawberries, blueberries, pineapple, bananas, cherries, peaches – mostly fruits I would never eat because I was and am so picky. I have a piano to play and books to read. I can see the beauty, hear the glorious, feel the wonderful, smell the amazing, and taste the incredible. I am happy to refrain from the noise of anger and crazy. I know that I am a child of the living God and I know that He loves me.

It is a good day to count my blessings and be grateful.

I am grateful tonight for a wonderful birthday this year.

I am grateful for chocolate birthday cakes.

I am grateful for noisy homes full of squealing and giggling and crying and arguing and teasing and chasing and balloon popping and singing and “Ama! Ama! Ama!” ing.

I am grateful for a daughter who trusted me to care for 6 of the children by myself one afternoon so we could go to the store and choose birthday presents for mama.

I am grateful for cinnamon roll making, casserole baking, monster cookie-ing, smoothie blending, all with helpers helping.

I am grateful for Monopoly games with the two oldest.

I am grateful for in-the-dark bedtime stories.

I am grateful for pictures taken.

I am grateful for a little time to just talk to my daughter about life.

I am grateful for candy wrappers everywhere, sticky fingers and cheeks ready for hand soap.

I am grateful for Sunday morning worship singing at the top of their lungs.

I am grateful for curls curls curls.

I am grateful for the sweetness of a newborn baby and her mama who loves her as if she were the only one.

I am grateful for ornery grins.

I am grateful for the ease of wearing a mask, since I needed to wear it non-stop.

And I am grateful for the heartache I feel now that I am gone and they are so far away…

It has been a birthday to remember, for sure. I always love spending my birthday with my daughter. There is just something about a mother and daughter relationship, and especially when that mother and daughter share the same special day.

From a surprise party thrown by my son-in-law, to helping the grandchildren purchase gifts for their mom today to surprise her, to being sung to by a restaurant full of “Yee Haws!” tonight…and now a sleepover in “my” room while I visit – five granddaughters sharing the room with me tonight and making me feel so loved.

It’s been a birthday to be grateful.

That is…on the road again.

I am grateful tonight to be on the road to see a new granddaughter and her eight siblings and parents.

I am grateful for a husband who is okay with the risks we are taking and who trusts me to be safe and extremely cautious for the next four days while I hold children and play the part of Ama.

I am grateful that he will be able to go to a place he dearly loves and enjoy some time while he waits for me to finish playing.

I am grateful that my daughter wants me to visit. There was a time when that wasn’t the case…

I am grateful that we will spend our birth day together.

I am grateful for safety on the road again, and safety for both of us these next several days while we mask and sanitize and wash hands and avoid nonstop.

I am grateful for Dana and Duane, our cat whisperers.

And I am grateful for road trip snacks.

After yesterday, I just really wanted to fetal position and stay under the covers this morning. The warmth and comfort were just what I needed to soothe the stress felt all afternoon and evening on Wednesday as history was made in a disgraceful way. I knew I needed to force myself out of bed and get moving, though.

I could tell as soon as I left the kitchen porch that there wouldn’t be a sunrise to see. There were no stars watching me walk. I decided to leave my book alone and just feel the darkness of the morning as I walked. I’m glad I did. I needed the silence, and I needed to be aware of my senses for an hour to begin my day.

• The calico cat hunched tight and watching me warily from the curb
• The town alarm that sounded, causing multiple dogs to howl from their yards
• The smell of bacon frying, someone’s wonderful beginning to their day
• A child, hanging out the window at the side of the house and yelling to me, “Good morning!”
• Seeing small town USA begin to wake up, one glowing lighted window at a time
• Someone was getting fresh clean clothes straight out of the dryer to start the day
• Sounds of mooing and smells of manure coming from a lone cattle truck going down Main Street
• The beacon that draws me in – a house that keeps decked out Christmas lights on all night so that I have something to look forward to when I turn the corner
• The damp cold wind that hits my cheeks when I turn north
• The town is made up of 98.9% pickup trucks – at least it is at 7 am.

My sunrise wasn’t there to greet me, but as I turned back east to head home, I was reminded of my years in Oklahoma when I began to love the beauty of naked trees. When leaves are in full season, it is impossible to see the complexity of the tree and how beautiful the shape and the branches can be. The backdrop this morning was a blanket of clouds, and I immediately sensed that God’s sunrise was still there, as were His stars. They were just on the other side of His cloud blanket that made me feel safe and secure. Some days I need to feel safe and secure and a cloudy, cold day is a good day to stay inside and appreciate all things home.

I am grateful for my home.
I am grateful for my stairway that gives me a few more steps and a good climb several times a day.
I am grateful when I arrive back home from a walk and can sit down on the couch in front of a nice warm fire with my husband if just for a few minutes…before I go upstairs to begin work.
I am grateful for a blender to make breakfast smoothies.
I am grateful today for a coat and gloves.
I am grateful for a blanket on the bed and in the sky.
I am grateful for the sun that rose even after.
I am grateful for the sights, sounds, and smells of the early mornings.
I am grateful for II Timothy 2:23-24 today.
I am grateful for my Quaker heritage and desire for peace. I need to work on being Quaker these days.
I am grateful for those times when I come across a great quote.
I am grateful for a space heater that takes the chill.
I am grateful for the way my house smells.
I am grateful for an annoying cat that keeps me company while I work.
And I am grateful for tomorrow.

“Maturity is learning how to start when you feel like procrastinating
and learning how to listen when you feel like talking.”

It was too early to walk at 4 am, so walking will have to wait until end of day today. However, God still showed up when I couldn’t. This was on the outskirts of Hays America, and Sam stopped the truck so I could take the picture out my passenger side window.

I am grateful once again for an incredible oncologist and an appointment that couldn’t have been better.

I am grateful for nurse friends.

I am grateful for healing and good labs.

I am grateful for the privilege of working from a laptop with good internet coverage pretty much anywhere we go these days.

And I am grateful for another beautiful morning.