I really didn’t like the cold, biting wind walking in to work this morning, so I need to be grateful for the cold, biting wind.

Because without a little wind, wind chimes would be silent.

Because without a little wind, exercise would be even more unpleasant.

Because without a little wind, kites could not fly, sailboats could not sail, and windmills could not turn.

Because without a little wind, my body wouldn’t have need to brace itself and gain strength.

Because without the wind, I wouldn’t have need for my warm coat, gloves, or scarf.

Because without the cold wind, I wouldn’t have the pleasure of breathing in that crisp air that seems to clean out and fill up my lungs.

Because without the wind, I wouldn’t have that extra reminder that God is always with me, even if I can’t see Him.

I am grateful for the chickadees that might have discovered there is food at the table this morning. They are curious, I believe, but haven’t sat down and pulled up a chair just yet.

When everything seems to be going against you,
remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
– Henry Ford

I am grateful for the quiet of the night in front of the fire, watching a video of Mom that I discovered on my phone, taken one year ago.

I am grateful for memories of this day last year, playing hymns for Mom on the borrowed keyboard from church/choir, and accompanying for Karissa in the living room of the apartment so she could sing for her Grandma one more time.

I am grateful for select-a-size paper towels.

I am grateful for a full tank of gas this morning – thank you, Sam.

I am grateful for a belated birthday voicemail from Steve.

I am grateful for the opportunity this evening to celebrate Abbie and participate in a fun evening with her and her friends.

I am grateful for memories of Anissa walking around in the apartment last year, wearing GG’s pink fuzzy slippers.

I am grateful for wild rice/pasta/chicken soup that Joyce shared with me for lunch.

And I am grateful that I have a thankful heart today, that I am not worrying about tomorrow, that I am able to look for miracles and blessings in the most mundane of days. I am grateful that I am living above my circumstances while living in the midst of them. This song is playing on my internal jukebox today:

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I am grateful for emails back and forth with Erin and Geri. I feel like I’ve won the lottery.

I am grateful that I have learned to live with less and I am not dependent on a credit card; two more good things that have come from the past three years.

I am grateful for cream cheese frosting.

I am grateful for this wisdom that was shared with me yesterday in a Skype message: “What is it about God’s plan we don’t understand?  Sometimes, we have to just let Him take us.”

I am grateful for window cleaners – watching these guys on the side of the building this morning when I walked in to work made me appreciate the fact that my feet were on solid ground, rather than hanging from a rope six stories up.

I am grateful that I don’t watch the shows that I used to be so addicted to – The Bachelor, Big Brother, Real Housewives, Project Runway, etc. Last night, we were able to enjoy watching the end of the Spurs game while we chopped and diced, and it’s so nice to not be tied to programming any longer, besides keeping the garbage out of my mind.

I am grateful for time in the kitchen last night, making a meal for my co-worker with Sam. It went twice as fast with someone else chopping and mixing and stirring…besides, it was nice to have someone to talk to while we worked.

I am grateful for Mom’s/Grandma Johnson’s recipe for pan cinnamon rolls.

I am grateful for the anticipation I feel waiting on the birds to finally discover the feeders outside. Still waiting…

I am grateful for time spent at dinner with Danny and Jan last night.

I am grateful for memories of video scavenger hunts with Karissa and Katrina and their friends while I work on creating a cell phone camera scavenger hunt for tomorrow night. I hope that Katrina has that video of her group building a pyramid or talking to the Braum’s employee in the drive-thru or of her swallowing a goldfish…

I am grateful for paper napkins.

I am grateful for sleep.

I think I could actually take a trip and have just one spare change of clothes. My obstacle at this point in life is my hair. Or my inability to do anything different with it. I seem to need “stuff” to make it look decent. I am attempting to grow it out so that I could just put it up in a ponytail – however, I think the easier solution would be to go all out “Angela” and cut it off. I see my sister and get so jealous of how good she looks and how simple her hairstyle is. Wow. I squirreled on that topic. What I was getting at was the fact that I really liked this devotion about de-cluttering and living with less. My challenge for the winter is to fill 40 bags to give away, just like the idea above. Take that idea along with Jen Hatmaker’s “7” book and her life-changing reductions, and maybe by spring, I’ll be able to ditch the hair dryer and straightener. MAYBE.

With airlines charging us extra fees if we want to take our suitcase with us on vacation, more people are learning to take less. Even on overseas trips, many seasoned travelers pack little more than a change of clothes and a toothbrush. Garments can be washed out in a sink at night, and other supplies can be picked up as needed. Traveling with a half-empty backpack is a liberating adventure.

The same is true of life. The more we acquire, the more we have to tend. Everything requires attention and maintenance. Costs increase. An escalating lifestyle brings accelerating pressure. Pretty soon our possessions possess us.

Rather than being upwardly mobile, why not deliberately downsize? Constantly be de-cluttering. Pour your money into eternal investments and live simply.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon admitted that he found little lasting satisfaction in his houses, vineyards, orchards, servants, herds, tools, toys, and treasures. (2:4-11) Real joy was found in the simplest acts of eating, drinking, working hard, and laboring for the Lord (2:24).

For a better trip, throw a Bible in your backpack and travel light. 

Tears are more special than smiles. Smiles can be for anyone, but tears are reserved for those you really love…

I am grateful for very busy days at the office when the bosses are preparing to leave for an island getaway. Today has been a multi-tasking day. Love the change.

I am grateful for a sweet email from Lisa with this picture that Mom would have scolded me about, because it has a bad word in it:

I am grateful for this caffeine headache that reminds me I am doing something good, weaning myself off of so much iced tea and saving $1.09 every day.

I am grateful for my Bingo group! Tuesday nights are so rich. I love my friends at The Gables. I wish I could spend more time with them. I gave them crossword/sudoku/word search books and some banana bread for their prizes. And the blackout winner, Stan, received the standard four quarters AND a bonus $2 bill.

I am grateful for the opportunity to take Danny out for dinner this evening and find out what he’s been learning at our church this week and hear about he and Glenda’s future plans and fun trips that are coming up soon.

~~~~~

I am grateful for memories of this day last year. I had been back to work for one day, from my trip to Fort Worth, and I got a call from Dwight shortly after lunch. He had gone to visit Mom during his lunch break and found her asleep at the kitchen table, almost ready to fall out of her chair. I left work, found Angela at a basketball game, and Sam, Angela, Rachel and I headed to Hutch that evening. I remember sitting in the living room with Mom and Dad, Dwight and Marlene, Angela and Rachel, and Sam having the discussion about calling Hospice. Mom had been so hesitant, but in the quiet of the night with all of us there, she knew it was time. Oh, that was so hard, but I am so grateful for Hospice. A nurse came that night and got Mom started on her new medicine and walked us through the first steps of this emotionally painful journey in which we were about to embark. I cannot even begin to imagine the emotion Dad was feeling. He was such a rock, and it did my heart wonders to watch him sit beside her, holding her hand, being so attentive to her. To witness that love and adoration was priceless…

Mom, about three weeks earlier, at the Johnson reunion…and Mom, on Wednesday, January 16, 2013.

And I am grateful for healing tears.

Sustain. It’s a word that means “to support, to hold, to bear up from beneath, to bear the weight of.” 

I am grateful that I have co-workers who love each other and support/sustain each other in the best of times, as well as the worst of times. Today is a great example. Emergency last night, pacemaker today. Not for me, but for a co-worker who has no family here right now. Rally the troops.

I am grateful for this song:

Let Them See You – Colton Dixon

I am grateful for this devotion that I read this morning in the quiet of the kitchen while I listened to the breeze outside, waiting on my “feathered friends” to show up. They didn’t, but He did.

Let Me bless you with my grace and Peace. Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you. Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My Peace.

It is easy to touch up your outward appearance, to look as if you have it all together. Your attempts to look good can fool most people. But I see straight through you, into the depths of your being. There is no place for pretense in your relationship with Me. Rejoice in the relief of being fully understood. Talk with Me about your struggles and feelings of inadequacy. Little by little, I will transform your weaknesses into strengths. Remember that your relationship with Me is saturated in grace. Therefore, nothing that you do or don’t do can separate you from My Presence.

1 Samuel 16:7; Romans 8:38-39

I am grateful for wheat Chex to snack on today.

I am grateful for two new bird feeders – I can’t wait for new friends to show up and feast.

I am grateful for exciting college basketball games to watch.

I am grateful for really smart, witty “Good Morning, America” anchors who make me laugh.

I am grateful for the most beautiful birthday card from my Dad that I received last night. I do not recall ever receiving a card from just my Dad, and his words were priceless and brought tears to my eyes. I will keep this card forever.

From my devotion book from Dad this morning:

“Like the giant pillars of an unshakeable bridge, the promises of God bear us up from beneath. His everlasting arms sustain us through every storm.”

Under every condition, in every circumstance, for every burden, in every need, through every sorrow, Christ, the source and sustainer of life, is more than sufficient. – A.L. Faust

I am grateful for co-workers who shared a birthday cupcake with me yesterday.

And I am grateful that I can be saturated in grace this month, while I allow myself to be saturated in Grace, re-living my Mom’s final days one year ago this month. I am so grateful that I am surrounded by not only people who will help to “sustain” me, but I am surrounded with God’s Presence, the Sustainer of life, and He is more than sufficient for me.

Try to view each day as an adventure, carefully planned out by your Guide. Instead of staring into the day that is ahead of you, attempting to program it according to your will, be attentive to Me and to all that I have prepared for you. Thank Me for this day of life, recognizing that it is a precious, unrepeatable gift. Trust that I am with you each moment, whether you sense My Presence or not. A thankful, trusting attitude helps you to see events in your life from My perspective.

A life lived close to Me will never be dull or predictable. Expect each day to contain surprises! Resist your tendency to search for the easiest route through the day. Be willing to follow wherever I lead. No matter how steep or treacherous the path before you, the safest place to be is by My side.

This is the day the Lord acted;
we will rejoice and celebrate in it! – Psalm 118:24 (CEB)

I am grateful for people who whistle.

I am grateful for TWO birthday cards from Delores – they made me cry happy tears on Friday.

I am grateful for birthday Facebook messages from Cindy and Lisa.

I am grateful for a wonderful surprise from Sam on Friday evening when I got home. We spent the evening on the Plaza, and he made me feel so very special.

I am grateful for my sister who invited us to go bowling with them on Saturday evening and gave me a chocolate cake in the parking lot afterwards.

I am grateful for another wonderful birthday surprise from Shirley and Rob that arrived in the mail – Olivia books and toy, and Cheezits and peanut butter M&M’s. Shirley knows me too well… And, I can now start my Olivia collection again. Yay!

I am grateful for a birthday song from the choir that appeared on my Facebook page.

I am grateful for an email from Mandrae on Saturday night.

I am grateful that we were able to take a long walk on Saturday and again on Sunday.

I am grateful for a beautiful Saturday morning breakfast at Chaz.

I am grateful for really skilled waiters who take the time to care and know their menu very well. A waiter can make or break a meal.

I am grateful for a birthday text message from Michelle.

I am grateful for birthday emails from Geri, Terry, Rhonda, Bonnie, and Erin.

I am grateful for memories of eating at Alfredo’s with Melissa Lewis for our birthdays and celebrating January birthdays with the CBA lunch ladies.

I am grateful for the treat of having Rachel and Angela sing “Happy Birthday” to me at the bowling alley.

I am grateful for time to have an iced tea at McDonald’s with Lynn and Susan.

I am grateful for a hug from Lisa at church yesterday morning.

I am grateful for a surprise phone call from Barb on Saturday and so glad she and Merlin were able to attend Resurrection Downtown and celebrate their pastor’s birthday in Kansas City with friends.

I am grateful for Sam, who is thoughtful to walk on the street side to protect me, because that’s what a gentleman does.

I am grateful that I was able to go to the doctor with Anissa to get her cast off one year ago today.

I am grateful that AT&T lowered the monthly cell phone bill by $50.

I am grateful for Jack Stack Crown Prime Rib. I’m sure it will be at the banquet table in Heaven.

I am grateful for a beautiful view of the Plaza and grateful for the stillness of the night to enjoy it all alone from the 7th floor.

I am grateful that I work with friends who are the best employers in the world, both of whom made me feel very loved this morning.

And I am grateful for friends who remembered my birthday and took the time to reach out and wish me a nice day on Saturday. Each day is full of surprises and I love how my devotion this morning reminded me that every day is a precious, unrepeatable gift. As I’ve been reminded many times, life is too short to live in bitterness, regret, shame, and anger. I am blessed every single day and I love how God is opening my eyes to even the smallest of blessings, moment by moment.

I am once again grateful for Karissa Beth. She is 30 years old today and one of the most precious gifts I’ve ever been given. 

I am so grateful for the memories I have of my daughter.  She weighed 4 lbs, 8 oz when she entered this world, and I remember thinking she was just like a tiny doll – the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. All of the other babies in the nursery were large and fat, and she was this small little thing that was perfect from head to toe. She was MINE, and she was even more special because she was a surprise, six weeks early. 

Karissa was a perfect baby – rarely cried and had such a happy smile for everyone. I loved dressing her in pretty clothes and showing her off to anyone and everyone. She was the student in class in elementary who never caused problems, was quiet and sweet and did as she was told. She was always so careful to please and respect her elders, and she was always sensitive to the underdog. 

In junior high and high school at Elyria, her personality really changed and she came into her own, developing a love for athletics and music, while being a part of a great group of friends who were the recipients of her many practical jokes and pranks.

She continued her love of sports and music at Central Christian and excelled in both, resulting in scholarships for college and recognition well deserved. 

While at Barclay, Karissa again made me so proud with her achievement in volleyball and basketball, and it was during this time, she met her future husband, Mandrae. 

Since her graduation from college, Karissa and Mandrae have become parents to four children and live in Texas. Karissa has made me so proud becoming a Mom to these four, and I miss her and them every day.

~~~~~

I am grateful for memories of her always changing her mind – her bedroom decor changed with the seasons. I am grateful for memories of her ridiculous exaggerations that made us laugh. I am grateful for memories of her photographs. I am grateful for memories of hearing Karissa and Katrina laughing so hard together. I am grateful for memories of listening to her sing in a recording studio in Malibu. I am grateful for memories of her playing the part of “Maria” in “The Sound of Music.” I am grateful for memories of playing the piano for her when she sang. I am grateful for memories of her singing “Jesus, Name Above All Names” as a little girl. I am grateful for memories of her on a little cassette tape that we made for Clare and for my parents. I am grateful for memories of her and her Elyria friends all having so much fun down in the basement. I am grateful for memories of car rides home from school every day, hearing all of the drama from the day. I am grateful for the trips I was able to take to visit her at Barclay. I am grateful for the memories of all of her schoolwork and art that I kept in a box. I am grateful for the miracle of the internet, so I can google her name and listen to her sing a few songs. I am grateful that Karissa is hardheaded and extremely sensitive and is loyal to her Dad and loves being with her sister. I am grateful that she values family time. I am grateful that she found a man who loves her and grateful for memories of their beautiful wedding that held such meaning. And I am grateful that she loves Jesus and is raising her children to love Him, too. 

Happy birthday, Karissa Beth. I love you and am so grateful you came into my life 30 years ago.

Glorious – having a striking beauty or splendor that evokes feelings of delighted admiration.

I am grateful for joy.

I am grateful for hunger pains and cravings and the ability to work through them and not indulge.

I am grateful for a new opportunity to become a CASA advocate here in Kansas City. I have wanted to do this for such a long time, and now it seems the door may be opening.

CASA for Children

I am grateful that God has brought me to this place in life – a place where I am living what I profess. As I was listening to the music on KLOVE this morning on my way to work, it hit me that the words to the song, “Your grace is enough…” used to be just words to a song, and I might have professed those truths, but I was not living them. I was such a Pharisee. I had such bitterness inside and treated some people “nicely” but talked about them in a negative light when they weren’t around.  If God shows me enough grace to cover my multitude of sins/failures/shortcomings, I MUST do the same for others in order to be a living testimony.

I am grateful for a handful of Sam’s Club gluten-free multi grain crackers, since I forgot my leftover burrito for lunch.

I am grateful for the opportunity to have dinner with Ian and Abbie last night. Those two kids are so enjoyable to be around. It was especially noticeable to Sam and I that Ian said “thank you” several times – you just don’t find that trait in kids these days, and we were impressed. Mom always used to say, “It makes you want to do something nice for them AGAIN.” Yes, it sure does. And when kids DON’T say “thank you,” it has the opposite effect.

I am grateful for the best hot chocolate. Thanks, Angela, for reminding me of Mom’s recipe. I remember her huge Tupperware container that she used to mix that stuff up. Now I want to make it this weekend, because I am craving the best hot chocolate. I need a huge Tupperware container. Will a small trash can work?

I am grateful for Dove chocolate messages:

Chocolate DOES bring a little bit of joy.

Joy really IS contagious.

And finally, I am grateful for this song and the joy and hope it gives to me. It’s been playing on my internal jukebox all morning:

What a Day, GLORIOUS Day That Will Be

There is coming a day,
When no heart aches shall come,
No more clouds in the sky,
No more tears to dim the eye,
All is peace forever more,
On that happy golden shore,
What a day, GLORIOUS day that will be.

What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face,
The One who saved me by His grace;
When He takes me by the hand,
And leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, GLORIOUS day that will be.

There’ll be no sorrow there,
No more burdens to bear,
No more sickness, no pain,
No more parting over there;
And forever I will be,
With the One who died for me,
What a day, GLORIOUS day that will be.

I am grateful for caffeine to keep headaches at bay, but more grateful for a new resolve to drink more water this year and slowly decrease my iced tea intake.

I am grateful for rest.

I am grateful for memories of vacations.

I am grateful for a time in my life that was instrumental in my walk with Jesus. I was 15 years old and had a serious motorcycle accident. The verses I held onto for two and a half years were Psalm 46:1-3:

God is our refuge and strength, 
a help always near in times of great trouble.
That’s why we won’t be afraid when the world falls apart, 
when the mountains crumble into the center of the sea, 
when its waters roar and rage, 
when the mountains shake because of its surging waves. Selah

My devotion this morning spoke of these verses:

I am with you and for you. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in Heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don’t be discouraged – never give up! With My help, you can overcome any obstacle. Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very present Helper, am omnipotent.

Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence.

 

Romans 8:31; Psalm 46:1-3; Luke 1:37

I am grateful for this message today – because I want certain things to happen that are not happening, and I was reminded this morning that God sets the pace, not I. I just need to remain in His will and live in His grace and PRACTICE His grace towards others, all the while enjoying the journey with God holding my hand, even when it is not easy.

I am grateful for a special voicemail I received yesterday from a lady at a local jewelry store.

I am grateful for dinner with the Allards last night and lots of laughs as a result of Pete’s stories.

I am grateful for dreary days because they make me appreciate sunny days.

And that makes me grateful for memories of Nanette sending me the Hoops and YoYo card about having a happy, sunny day…

I am grateful for a new opportunity today.

I am grateful for a very funny but horrible news story last night about a “murder by fatal wedgie” that made us laugh. Only in Oklahoma…

And I am grateful for spearmint gum.

I am grateful that I still have some good memories left. It’s a memory kind of day.

I am grateful for a good pen, because when the pen is bad, I am frustrated.

I am grateful for the food in the refrigerator.

I am grateful for children’s books and for memories of reading those books to Shirley on the way back to Kansas from Dallas. Children’s books make me happy.

I am grateful for memories of Mom working her newspaper puzzles every day.

I am grateful for my devotion this morning:

It is impossible to praise or thank Me too much. As it is written, I inhabit the praises of My people. Sometimes your adoration is a spontaneous overflow of Joy, in response to radiant beauty or rich blessings. At other times your praise is more disciplined and measured – an act of your will. I dwell equally in both types of praise. Thankfulness, also, is a royal road to draw near Me. A thankful heart has plenty of room for Me.

 When you thank Me for the many pleasures I provide, you affirm that I am God, from Whom all blessings flow. When adversity strikes and you thank Me anyway, your trust in My sovereignty is a showpiece in invisible realms. Fill up the spare moments of our life with praise and thanksgiving. This joyous discipline will help you live in the intimacy of My Presence.

Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I am grateful for four beautiful Waterford glasses that sit on the table reminding me of the great people for whom I work and the wonderful career I now enjoy so much.

I am grateful for the beauty of an icicle, such a simple but unique piece of art from the Creator. A favorite memory of mine is sitting on the porch swing with Parker at one of the camp cabins and breaking off a huge icicle for her that was hanging from the roof. When I see an icicle, that is the image I remember…

I am grateful for Halos/Cuties/just the right size oranges, one of the best things about winter.

I am grateful for soft socks from Delores.

I am grateful for memories of snow days with Karissa and Katrina – for those days when Clare would fashion a rope and a sled behind the pickup and pull the girls down the street in town. Or the days when the dorm kids would come over because they were bored and needed to “escape” or Katrina’s friends would spend the day at the house playing board games and Keith Peters would make us all laugh until we cried.

I am grateful for a fun phone call with Dad last night.

I am grateful for memories of picking up Mom and Dad two years ago this morning and beginning our two day trip to Florida to see Charlie, Patsy and Steve. What a glorious time that was…

I am grateful for Tupperware and Rubbermaid and Ziploc and Glad containers.

And I am grateful for memories of a trip to Fort Worth one year ago today to babysit for three adorable grandchildren.

I was so excited to fly all by myself, to babysit all by myself, and to have so much dedicated time with the kids. I also remember being so worried that something would happen to Mom while I was out of the state. I knew that her time was limited and it was the beginning of a new chapter in this life…