I am in my senior year at KU and have a midterm due tonight. Instead, I am writing my thoughts on this Thursday mid-morning as I sit at a kitchen table in my daughter’s home in north Texas while two little boys giggle at a handheld screen over on the couch, and eight kids take a break from school work to jump on the trampoline outside.

Taking care of ten grandchildren by myself for a week is no small task. At the end of each evening, my bones ache, my back cramps, and my feet are screaming at me. But there have been so many priceless moments and I am so grateful these children know me and know that I love them.

I’ll take these grandparent aches any day over the dread of a midterm.

When I see sunsets like this one, I think of Elwood. He is my first best friend’s dad, and for some reason, I have always correlated him with the hymn, “Beyond the sunset.” 50 years ago, I am absolutely sure he said that was his favorite hymn, and I have never forgotten it. And when I think of Elwood, I think of Norma, his wife. And when I think of them both, I think of Lori, my first best friend.

That means, I think of the Mendenhalls every time I see a sunset like this one.

Beyond the sunset, O blissful morning, when with our Saviour heav’n is begun.
Earth’s toiling ended, O glorious dawning; beyond the sunset when day is done.

Beyond the sunset, no clouds will gather; no storms will threaten, no fears annoy;
O day of gladness, O day unending, beyond the sunset, eternal joy!

Beyond the sunset, a hand will guide me to God the Father, whom I adore;
His glorious presence, His words of welcome, will be my portion on that fair shore.

Beyond the sunset, O glad reunion with our dear loved ones who’ve gone before.
In that fair homeland we’ll know no parting-beyond the sunset for evermore!

I was walking with my husband the other night and we had to stop so I could take these pictures. We walked 2+ miles after dinner in complete silence. It was therapy after a long Sunday. In that silence, I began thinking about dying, an odd therapeutic subject, but therapeutic it was.

I thought about how we will go about planning Dad’s service one of these days, and then I thought about how the older we get, the smaller our circle becomes, and then I thought about my own death, and how I would want to be remembered or forgotten.

I wasn’t thinking about heaven. I think about that all the time. But I was thinking about what happens after we are gone, who is affected, how things are handled, what, if anything, is kept to remind someone about us. What type of permanency do we leave for those in our circle, or are we forgotten over time, only to be remembered occasionally.

I thought about Elwood and Norma and wondered if they were with Mom and the Thornburgs, with their Steve and our Steve.

I thought of Lori and wondered if she thinks about Tyler when she sees a sunset like this. And then I thought of Cindy and wondered if she saw this sunset from her vantage point. She is on the other side of it now and it must be so much more brilliant there.

I thought about being 60 and remembering when I never thought I would make it this long.

I thought about how sunsets are never the same, and if you miss one, you miss it forever, because this day is fleeting and soon it will end.

And then I thought about that song, the song one or more of my choirs or ensembles sang:

This day is fragile – soon it will end
And once it has vanished, it will not come again
So let us love with a love pure and strong
Before this day is gone

This day is fleeting when it slips away
Not all our money can buy back this day
So let us pray that we might be a friend
Before this day is gone

This day we’re given is golden
Let us show love
This day is ours for one moment
Let us sow love

This day is frail – it will pass by
So before it’s too late to recapture the time
Let us share love, let us share god
Before this day is gone

I am grateful for sunsets that spark memories.

I am grateful for the Mendenhall family.

I am grateful for silent walks with my husband.

I am grateful for hymns from my past, songs from my past – they are now songs of my present, which also makes me grateful for my memories.

And I am still grateful after all these years for naked trees, the most beautiful trees of all, because their beautiful strength is in their structure, and they are most beautiful with a pink and blue backdrop. At least they were on Sunday evening.