Tuesday evening, I went to spend a little bit of time with Dad. I didn’t get there very early, because it was after class. The sun was setting when I arrived, and I was so, so tired.

My day began at 3:45 am when Sam needed to get up and get on the road for an adventure with his brother and nephews. I tried to get back to sleep after I waved goodbye from the garage, but sleep was just beyond, so I watched some TV and drifted in and out.

I thought about getting dressed and going for a long walk in the crisp cool of the night morning, but I didn’t. I just didn’t.

So the day started as usual. I headed to work and spent my time focused on LinkedIn profiles, formatting CVs, distracted and constantly thinking about Child Development exam week and our upcoming weekend in Seattle/Tacoma.

I was grateful Sam had a fun Tuesday with his family.

I was grateful my boss treated us to lunch in the conference room.

I was grateful I had the willpower to choose a kale salad with no dressing, and even more grateful it was actually good.

I was grateful for Freddie’s fries on my way to class after work, although I criticized myself the whole way while I enjoyed every last one of them.

I was grateful I made it to class with one minute to spare after sitting in the parking lot too long, finishing up those perfectly seasoned shoestring fries.

I was even more grateful when the professor said class would only be an hour long as we worked our way through the study guide in advance of the exam.

As soon as class was over, I saw the text from my sister that she hadn’t been able to get away to go see Dad, so I knew I needed to stop and check in with him. I ran home for a few minutes to unload, so, so tired from the day that had begun at 3:45 am. I threw a few treats for Banana and Split, put things away, stared into the refrigerator and decided fries would suffice for the night, grabbed my keys, and headed back out.

The sunset was so, so beautiful in the rearview mirror as I drove east toward Dad’s apartment. If only I had left 15 minutes earlier, I could have taken Dad out to go enjoy that view.

I parked in the parking lot and made my way inside and up to the 2nd floor apartment. Dad was there and was surprised when I knocked on the door and entered. His room was quiet, TV dark, and he had just begun his nightly routine of winding down.

“Dad, the Royals are on! We gotta get the TV on!”

He gave me his usual Ferguson surprised look, and we sat down to watch. As soon as I channeled the right channel, we were both Ferguson surprised to see the score was 8-0 in our favor, and it was only the 2nd inning. We settled in for an unusually fun few innings to watch, talking about the day with not a lot to say. As time passed, the sun’s light disappeared and the night arrived outside Dad’s window. He doesn’t pull the shade, ever, so he always has a view. The parking lot lights were bright with flying night bugs in their shine – car headlights could be seen on the street just beyond. Salvy stepped up to the plate and RBI’d, and that was all I needed to see – the Royals were taking care of business and didn’t need my support on this particular night. Besides, my eyes were screaming at me to take them home and put them to bed.

I told Dad I was exhausted and would be back tomorrow after work, gave him a hug, and we said our love you’s and goodnights.

I walked outside in the quiet of the night, thinking about my exam, our trip, Sam driving home so late, the fact that Dad needed some bathroom supplies, those Freddie’s fries that did me in… As I approached the car, I was at the perfect angle to look up to the 2nd floor window and see if Dad had called it a night, too.

There he was, standing at the window, watching me walk to my car.

I waved big. He waved back.

Oh, how I wish I had a camera to capture that moment.

And I cried all the way home, so, so grateful.