I took an ethics class this summer as part of my coursework for my future degree. It stretched me. Each week, I felt SO uneducated and the words were far beyond what my mind could grasp. I remember Mom talking about reading hard stuff, and she would have to read and then re-read, and then re-re-read, just to make some sense out of the concepts. When taking an online class, a student does not have the luxury of raising their hand or staying after class to get some 1:1 time with the instructor. So, I read. And then I re-read. And re-re-read. And still my mind had difficulty. I started this post a couple weeks ago, because something in my textbook actually began to make sense as I learned about utilitarianism, ethical egoism, deontology…and it made me think a lot.

I remember a mission trip I took with a group of students to the Dominican Republic, and our guide for the week talked about this quite a lot. People go to “the mission field,” hoping to help and influence and “plant seeds,” but end up coming home changed and realizing that those we intended to help, actually influenced and planted seeds within us, instead.

I read this quote somewhere, but I am not sure who to attribute it to: “If I serve you because of how it makes me feel, then I am actually serving me.”

Mind blown.

Don’t do anything for selfish purposes, but with humility think of others as better than yourselves. Instead of each person watching out for their own good, watch out for what is better for others. – Philippians 2:3-4 (CEB)

So today, I am grateful for powerful moments of clarity and education.

I am grateful for air conditioning and indoors.

I am grateful for a reminder of what servanthood actually means and how we end up twisting that Christ-like quality into something very self-serving.

I am grateful for boxes of Crumbl Cookies to share at Bingo, thanks to Katrina.

I am grateful for last week in one of our favorite places on earth, about 10,000 above sea level.

I am grateful Sam was able to ride motorcycles all week long and see beautiful things while getting a little dirty.

I am grateful for the opportunity to go on a couple short drives so I could also see some mind blowing beautiful things that were not just pictures.

I am grateful my phone didn’t completely run out of storage on the trip.

I am grateful for a nice cell phone rep who convinced us to wait for the newest version before trading up, benefiting us in the long run, rather than his paycheck right now.

I am grateful for a group of Friends who include Dad every Wednesday evening, and included me last night.

I am grateful that God is in charge and I really don’t have to worry about UAPs and all the things that tend to blow my mind.

I am grateful for cousin Valerie who thinks about me and sends a text.

I am grateful Keith is going to be okay after his motorcycle met a deer.

I am grateful for a real life example of servanthood as I watch Fran take care of our friends.

I am grateful I will get to see her and our friends tonight at Bingo.

And I am grateful Ethics is over and 3 more hours are in the completed column.

This early morning, I am grateful for so many things.

Before the day began yesterday to start the week, a bird was the first song I heard as I opened my eyes and saw the introduction of light through the blinds.

It was Monday morning, and Sam opened windows and turned on the attic fan to let in unseasonable fresh, cool air for a mid-July morning.

We reflected for a moment on the very nice weekend that included no Ethics homework but instead, 1) a beautiful, cloudy, cool Saturday morning at the farmer’s market, 2) dinner out, just the two of us for a change, 3) time spent with my brother and Dad, 4) a few hours to catch up on one of our favorites, Blacklist.

At one point during the weekend, I was sitting at the piano, playing some hymns for my peace, and when I finished, I realized Dad was sitting in the room listening. “I needed that today.” So did I, Dad, so did I.

It was such a nice weekend.

Funny thing though, this Tuesday morning, summer has returned like an unwanted electric blanket.

But that cardinal was just as happy today as yesterday.

I am not a fan of summer. Or humidity. Or mosquitoes and chiggers and ticks. Or clothes that show how squishy and untanned I am. I am a fan of fans. And air conditioning. And shade. And a dry breeze. And Avon Skin-so-Soft or Deep Woods Off.

I was just reading in Philippians 4, because that cardinal seemed to be a message I needed right now. “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” – The Message version

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart feel lonely, and long for heaven and home?
When Jesus is my portion, a constant friend friend is He,
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches over me.

I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free!
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I want to be like that early morning cardinal. Content no matter my circumstances, no matter the “weather” of the moment.

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I am grateful for blessings of unseasonable weather gifts.

I am grateful for time spent with my brother – happy birthday, Dwight!

I am grateful for every moment I have with my Daddy, because those moments will one day be memories.

I am grateful for a light at the end of the tunnel for this summer class and I am also grateful for a stretching of my thoughts and beliefs.

I am grateful for the opportunity to pursue this higher education, even if I am 40 years late to class.

I am grateful for time spent with Sam, just the two of us.

I am grateful when June bugs stay over there, far, far away from over here.

And I am grateful for the way God speaks to me sometimes, like through the song of a cardinal outside my window.