We celebrated on Saturday with others. The new-to-us home was finally presentable, evidence of Sam’s hard work and love of all things project-related.

I am grateful for friends and family who joined us on a beautiful day.

I am grateful for a flood of happy memories to cover the sad and not-so-happy.

I am grateful for surprise gnomes that keep showing up to make me smile and appreciate friendship and love.

I am grateful we have an annual tradition.

I am grateful Sam cares as much as I do about acknowledging the blessings.

I am grateful for 2021 and a return to semi-normal.

I am grateful for fresh flowers, I love them so much.

I am grateful to have the extra blessing of his medical miracle this year.

I am grateful for my homes, both of them.

I am grateful for the best friend who comes and takes charge so I can be less stressed and not worry about the food.

I am grateful to have had my sister, my nephew, my Dad, and my stepdaughter here this year. They were at our very first which happened to be our wedding, and now at our ninth annual, too.

I am grateful for Mom. Her 90th birthday was yesterday, and I don’t know if there are parties in Heaven, but I had a quiet party for her internally. She has missed all these celebrations the last nine times, but I like to think she was in attendance and grinning big with tears in her eyes.

Tokens of congratulations are on the table, waiting to open on this day to acknowledge official number eight. Tonight we celebrate, just the two of us.

I am grateful for God’s mercy and grace on our lives, individually and together.

I am grateful for a husband who prays with me and for me.

I am grateful that I am told how much I am loved and appreciated.

I am grateful for a partner who cares about my family, cares about being a family.

I am grateful for so much. A lot has happened since we began to write this story, and I am grateful Sam enjoys looking back at all we have experienced over the years. Dinner conversation will be all about reflection…

Today, I am grateful for us.

If we would take just 1/10th of the energy we invest in criticism and convert it to GRATITUDE, our lives would improve 100%. – Alan Cohen, paraphrased

My Dad gave that sentence to me this morning after we arrived at my sister’s home for a wonderful day of thanksgiving.

Tonight, I am grateful for that reminder.

If I fill my mind with bitterness and complaint and focus on that which causes me pain and disappointment, THAT is what will come out in my speech, my facial expression, my attitude.

If I make a conscious effort to focus my thoughts on the beauty all around me, the people who are in my life who cause me joy, the luxuries and benefits of living in this time in history/this country/this community/this home, THAT is what will come out in my speech, my facial expression, my attitude.

My boss friend and I were talking about this yesterday as she was attempting to encourage me to do just that. We both have personal experience in this area, either recognizing ourselves or someone close to us who made life miserable for everyone else in the room because of the inability or lack of effort to let it go and enjoy the moments. The Mary vs. Martha example comes to mind…

Tonight, I am grateful for my sister. She enjoyed the day today, and our family benefited from her ability to host AND focus on the beauty of the moment.

I am grateful for the tears that came to my eyes when we all held hands before the meal and my Dad prayed once again for our Thanksgiving meal and acknowledged God’s blessings.

I am grateful for a room full of twenty-somethings. They provided the entertainment during our meal, and as a member of the “older adult” table, it was a JOY to sit and listen to their table laughter and fodder and listen to the cousins reminisce.

I am grateful for a quiet evening here at home before a busy Friday of preparation begins.

I am grateful for a partner who silly grocery shops and cleans house and makes beds and cares as much as I do about creating a welcoming home.

I am grateful for a diverse circle of friends and family to recognize this weekend.

I am grateful for the privilege of having one of my closest friends from far away visit with her little girl, a new fwiend to add to our circle.

I am grateful for similarities in stories, just another way to connect by saying, “me too.”

I am grateful that I did not have to prepare the meal this year.

And I am grateful for a buffet of delicious and homemade Chex mix.

I am all for real blessings this week.

My expectations are always out of whack during this week. Every November. And with out of whack expectations, anxiety and mild depression follows, topped by stress and crankiness.

I suppose some of it comes from memories of Thanksgivings past. Some of it comes from a fear of continued rejection. There are feelings of not being good enough, not having it all together, not knowing how to host a party the “right way.” I am a sucker for emotional commercials and TV shows and social media posts showing happiness and reunions and sweet music and laughter and all things beautiful and homey and lovely.

Always, the loneliness settles over me. I miss my mom. I miss my girls. I miss the chaos and noise of family get togethers and having my kids with me.

I fill this cavernous void with busy. Busy makes it feel more like a holiday week, but it also takes me back up to the top with the expectations, and the vicious cycle repeats itself.

We are preparing for a party this week. I have had to remind myself many times over to lower the expectations and get back to counting blessings, naming them one by one. That is, after all, the reason for our party.

I am grateful for a husband who cares just as much as I do about having a good party.

I am grateful for a sister who is playing “Mom” and hosting Thanksgiving this year.

I am grateful that half of our family will be together. 14 attending, 18 too far away and with other plans.

I am grateful that my Dad is among the 14.

I am grateful that we have gotten so much done on our new home, enough to be able to host a party.

I am grateful that Michelle is coming to command the operation again.

I am grateful that our home will be filled with some old, some new, some borrowed, and some blue, and hopefully, all vaccinated or masked to protect the one who needs to be safely shielded. We are very blessed to have a large circle to love.

And I am grateful that our friends don’t care. They don’t care that the sheetrock dust is still visible in places. They don’t care if we serve homemade or storemade. They don’t care if it is paper and plastic instead of china and fine linen. They don’t care if wires still show and walls are bare. They don’t care if the windows aren’t washed. They don’t care if the baseboards show paint and grout and the quarter round is missing. They don’t care that the dishes do not match the placemats do not match the napkins do not match the plastic cups. They don’t care if I burn a breakfast casserole. They don’t even care that I am an emotional head case this week.

The fact that they celebrate with us and allow us to show them how blessed we are to call them our friends and family, the fact that they accept our gratitude for being in our lives this year…THAT is what I am most grateful for…along with the fact that they don’t care.

That is a very real Rhonda blessing this week.

Our refrigerator arrives TODAY!

We HAVE a refrigerator – actually, it isn’t a refrigerator, it is a re-ator without the fridge because there is no “fridge” to it.

It is a very large silver box that has taken up space in our new kitchen since August. All new and shiny and looking beautiful on the outside – actually, it is shiny and beautiful on the inside too – it just doesn’t “fridge.” It arrived a few months ago and does everything except “fridge.”

There is something to be said for shiny and new and beautiful…but worthless.

Fortunately, when we were new to this home and ordered the appliances that then happened to be supply chain stuck, Sam bought an ugly old refrigerator to have in the garage and it is a good thing, because it has been our cold food storage for most of this year.

There is something to be said for ugly and old but dependable and hardworking.

So, I am grateful for our ugly and old and dependable and hardworking garage reFRIGerator, and I am also grateful that it is going to be spacious tonight because most everything will be moved inside. Old needs to rest and not work so hard and I promise to not neglect it – I will still need it quite often I am certain.

I am grateful for my office window so that I can look outside from time to time and see the gorgeous autumn.

I am grateful for a pretty rotten routine doctor appointment yesterday that included a scale slap-in-the-face. I knew I was big, I just didn’t know HOW big.

I am grateful for a huge water bottle and a Costco sized bag of celery here at work, and a husband who is feeling better enough to create a home-cooked dinner last night that was beyond healthy…to jumpstart me back to correct eating.

I am grateful for a new refrigerator-to-be….although the large, beautiful empty silver box has not contributed to my out-of-controlness, so I guess I am grateful for it, too.

And, I am grateful for unexpected guests in the form of black and furry, as long as they are on the other side of the door. This one, along with Banana and Split, provided a smile yesterday morning:

Sam is in pre-procedure status this early morning while I am delegated to the waiting room with all the other “drivers” and designated surgery waiters. 70’s soft rock plays in the background, glaring fluorescent lights overhead are the pre-dawn light, and nervous patients wait for their names to be called as they go over the pre-op paperwork.

I am grateful for the admissions cheerful wearing the Chiefs sweatshirt behind the plexiglass. She arrives at 5:30 am to greet those of us who arrive at 6 am, a little less cheerful.

I am grateful for the diversity in this room. Spanish is spoken on my left, French is spoken across the chairs, and I am guessing to my right I hear Hindi. Add in the mix of English, and it is a very pleasant, small world. We are all experiencing the same anxieties this morning.

I am grateful for a Monday morning to wear comfort clothes while I work in a waiting room.

I am grateful for a lightweight laptop that holds all my progress so I can work from anywhere.

I am grateful for Sam’s circle that prays, even for these less challenging procedures.

I am grateful for a brother and nephew who dropped everything to help move furniture for us yesterday.

I am grateful Sam loves to have fun and thought it was a priority to be home by 5 pm yesterday…because HALLOWEENERS, Rhonda. His big bowls of candy were ready by 3:30 pm, and he answered the door for every costume, excited to engage with the Harry Potters and football players and Minnie Mouses.

I am grateful the board shows he is now in his procedure and sleeping under the care of an anesthesiologist.

I am grateful for an internal visual of God’s palm, and Sam in the center of it.

I am grateful we no longer have 90 minute drives or 5 hour drives to face when medical issues arise.

And I am grateful the sun is beginning to light the morning and we will be headed home in just a few hours.