I am very grateful I was not called to be a nurse. I have issues with adult personal space. I have issues with adult hygiene. I have issues with other adult people issues like medical grossness.

It is true, I cannot cover it up.

Odd, I don’t have near the sensitive stomach when it comes to grandchildren. I think that must be the Mom gene that God made and gave to me. I can deal with grandchild gross for the most part – however, I am slightly concerned that I may someday have to come to terms with grandchildren becoming adults with hygiene and unpleasant/hideous medical issues…

When I was a little girl, my mom would clip her fingernails in the car and I thought I might actually die. Not actually actually. I was just exaggeratingly mortified. That’s all.

When people talk about skin care and the lack thereof or talk about that show on cable called “Dr. P*mplepopper,” I kind of dry heave. There. That word. Huh-uh. Can’t do it.

I don’t know how nurses do it – how they talk about the gross things and deal with the disgusting things and clean up the repugnant nastiness that our bodies create.

I am just so grateful God knew I wasn’t cut out for that kind of sacrifice.

This morning, I was minding my own business and working away at my computer when the phone rang here in the office. It was “Mrs. Smith” and she didn’t let me get in a word before she proceeded to tell me her doctor recommended she call and set up an ENT appointment for her ear infection that started about 3 weeks ago and she began having green gook come out of it last week…

“Uh, ma’am, excuse me, ma’am. (Please do not say another word because I am dry heaving on this end.) You have the wrong number.”

I cannot deal. The flakes, the wax, the goo, the clippings, the yuck. I am nauseated just typing this.

I am sooooo grateful I was not called to be a nurse.

I am sooooo grateful others were and can take care of Mrs. Smith and all the adults who have issues.

I am sooooo grateful my grandchildren are still sweet and cute and little and haven’t accumulated, you know…issues…