Dad is a rock star. He visited my nephew’s ENT office and was tortured with the awfullest ear cleaning I have ever witnessed. It is the ONLY ear cleaning I have ever witnessed, but I am sure it is the awfullest one ever. I would rather spend a week with nine children under the age of 12 all by myself as the one in charge than go through what my Dad experienced.

It’s the truth.

It’s actual.

After Dad’s ear cleaning, I headed to Texas.

Everything was hunky dory for the first few days. We organized the pantry and still had partial smiles even when my MOTHER came out of me and I became grouchy and drill sargent-y.

Trying to capture smiles on the blooming diaper rash owner was a challenge since I rarely sat down and am not an expert on holding children while taking phone pictures. Obviously, you can’t wipe spit up formula off a grin when you are trying to get the smile in a picture…

Toys and activities are so underrated when there are nine to entertain. Ama’s kinetic sand, temporary tattoos, silly string, and getting to choose a toy from Wal-Mart lasted all about 15 minutes. Their mom knew to buy play-dough and tools for an army to help Ama out just a little. I have never seen so many play-dough colors, just waiting to be mixed in the wrong containers and left in tiny pieces on the table, under the table, smashed into the bottoms of pants and on chairs, on the bottoms of feet, in the kitchen sink, on the back of the dog…

Molar removal was done like it was nothing – must happen a lot in this household. In MY day, a molar pull was almost a hospital visit. Not for this tough cookie.

The mom thought it would be fun to go to the Fort Worth Zoo with Ama. Uh huh. I was NOT looking forward to taking nine children to the zoo by myself in Fort Worth downtown.

At least it was not supposed to be hot. Uh huh.

It’ll be fun, they said.

Uh huh.

It was, if you take out the parking a mile away because of end-of-school field trips, blooming diaper rash child who was drenched in teething drool, 137% humidity on the warmest day of the week, baby-to-toddler transformation and wanting to be held by junior mama which then caused an all-out tantrum assault, skinned knees on the 3-year-old when she tried to run away from her older brother on the bricked pavement, and whiny 5-year-old who did NOT want to hold hands with her older sister who squeezes too tightly.

It WAS actually fun until all the above.

…just before the fun was over.

This Ama was orangutan tired. Here is an actual picture of Ama:

Wouldn’t you know it, the very last night Ama was there, the kids insisted they needed to go to church. Now that’s pretty incredible parenting right there. Albeit, church is in a gymnasium with lots of friends and a cute boy, too. But hey. The kids wanted to go to church. So, this physically exhausted orangutan got them all fed and loaded in the van, and off we went. I tried my best to stick it out with blooming diaper rash who wasn’t so interested in the cute boy, but she and I ended up spending the last half of church in the van, driving in a circle around the parking lot for peace and quiet and a much needed respite from the painful crying, while the others thoroughly enjoyed some normalcy of being with their friends in a more familiar environment.

All in all, it was an incredible week and the most physically exhausted I have ever been. These grandchildren bring so much joy to my soul. They were patient and very forgiving of their Ama who tried her best and failed constantly. They helped at every turn, brought laughter into my world, and filled me up with memories to last until next time. They gave me a better understanding of how their family dynamic works and how their mama makes the world go ’round. I love all nine unique personalities and feel so honored to have been their person for six days.

Sam sent me this picture, just to tease me with what I was missing out on at home. I feel ya, Nanners. That is EXACTLY how I felt, too.