I am grateful tonight for a wonderful birthday this year.

I am grateful for chocolate birthday cakes.

I am grateful for noisy homes full of squealing and giggling and crying and arguing and teasing and chasing and balloon popping and singing and “Ama! Ama! Ama!” ing.

I am grateful for a daughter who trusted me to care for 6 of the children by myself one afternoon so we could go to the store and choose birthday presents for mama.

I am grateful for cinnamon roll making, casserole baking, monster cookie-ing, smoothie blending, all with helpers helping.

I am grateful for Monopoly games with the two oldest.

I am grateful for in-the-dark bedtime stories.

I am grateful for pictures taken.

I am grateful for a little time to just talk to my daughter about life.

I am grateful for candy wrappers everywhere, sticky fingers and cheeks ready for hand soap.

I am grateful for Sunday morning worship singing at the top of their lungs.

I am grateful for curls curls curls.

I am grateful for the sweetness of a newborn baby and her mama who loves her as if she were the only one.

I am grateful for ornery grins.

I am grateful for the ease of wearing a mask, since I needed to wear it non-stop.

And I am grateful for the heartache I feel now that I am gone and they are so far away…