We have no idea what sacrifice really means.

Last week, I finished work and in my mind as I was going downstairs, I thought I would make my daughter’s chicken tortilla soup for dinner. “I’ve got some chicken, I have some cheese, I have tortillas. I’m good.”

And then by the time I got to the kitchen and got serious about needing to make dinner, I realized I didn’t have chicken stock – you know, the kind in a box. “Well, there goes THAT. What am I supposed to do NOW?!”

I am certain my mom and my grandmas are in heaven doing facepalms.

We really have no idea what sacrifice and strength in hard times looks like. As we depended on Dana and Shelly to get groceries for us last weekend, it was enlightening to sit back and reflect. Shelly texted pictures of the aisles so I could choose this or that. Dana left notes that there were no potatoes, “Sorry, no apples!” etc.

And I caught myself thinking, “What am I going to MAKE?!”

Facepalm it, Mom. I know, I know.

Washing/warshing hands isn’t a big deal. But man oh man, 20 seconds is a LONG time. I have things to DO, like standing in the pantry staring at all the choices and not knowing what to FIX because there is no chicken stock.

(Whoever read last week’s post and sent Nestle’s Quik, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.)

Again, we have no idea what sacrifice really means. The fact that a grocery store is just minutes from our home with thousands of food items to eat is quite a miracle. Our parents and grandparents lived the sacrifices and the hardships. This COVID-19 thing for most of us is just an inconvenience in the grand scheme of things.

It is also a reason to re-evaluate what is taken for granted every day of our lives.

I am grateful for the delivery people who leave packages at our front door that stay outside now for 24 hours.

I am grateful for the time to spend, thinking about so many friends and family and putting my thinking thoughts into cards, and I am grateful for a box full of cards to send, and I am grateful for a roll of stamps.

I am grateful for enough Quik to open our own ice cream shop.

I am grateful for clean counters and doorknobs and appliance handles and cell phones and remotes. I am wishing we could set off a virus fogger in the house. That would be easier. And I kind of wish I could spray that glow-in-the-dark germ spray stuff all over so I could actually see where I missed, but I am also glad I can’t.

I am glad I don’t hoard toilet paper, but I am grateful for Costco.

I am grateful for nausea meds tonight for Sam. It was an easy breezy chemo day but not so much in the evening.

I am grateful for a bear to put in our window.

I am grateful that I was blessed to hear my daddy’s voice today on the phone on his 89th birthday, and I am grateful my sister was able to go see him and spend lunch time with him. I miss him a lot right now and have had so many memories swimming…

• His blue Fina/Standard/Amoco pants
• Ironing his handkerchiefs
• All the rides he would ride at Worlds of Fun and DisneyWorld with the girls
• Sitting on his lap and “driving” when I was little
• Hearing him sing the bass part during church, and then watching him fall asleep during the sermon
• “I’m okay but I’ll get over it”
• The way he loved me in the good and loved me in the bad and stood by me through it all, sometimes carrying me, sometimes just cheering me on, but always loving me

20 seconds is a long time, until you start thinking about the reasons your Dad is just the best dad in the world – I think that instead of praying the Lord’s Prayer or saying Psalm 23 for the next few handwashes, I will just think about Dad and his jokes, or Dad and Natia, or Dad and airplane rides, or Dad and Rook games, or Dad and his laugh, or Dad and his love of the Royals, or Dad and how hard he worked and how much he sacrificed so I would have great memories…