“I hope I am around for a very long time to take care of you.”

These are words whispered to me in the quiet of the night time when I thought he was asleep.

1 Peter 5:7 instructs me to give everything I care about and I worry about to God. It’s a good thing that He has big hands. Because these days, everything is A LOT to fit in His hands.

I am grateful that Sam knows everything there is to know about finance and accounting and I am grateful that he includes me and explains in great detail when we sit down at the table every month to go through everything bill and money and paperwork and insurance and retirement and investment…and I am also grateful that God has big hands for the moments when there is overwhelm and I begin to sink in the thoughts of “what if…”

I am grateful that I have learned a few things from Sam about fixing and maintenance and repair in the last few years…and I am also grateful that God has big hands for the moments when there is overwhelm and I begin to go down that dark hole of “what if…”

I am grateful that I have had the best example of forgiveness and grace and moving on, watching my husband let go of the awful and the unfair treatment and live with open arms and acceptance and the tenacity to keep trying to build a relationship…and I am also grateful that God has big hands for the moments when I begin to step back into the muck of hurt and rejection.

I am grateful for the moments of quiet when I watch him dread, watch him reflect on our blessings, watch him dream, watch him wince…and I am also grateful that God has big hands for the moments when pain and regret and dreams that we sense may never come true engulf our thoughts.

I am grateful that God has big hands.

Don’t panic. I’m with you.
    There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
    I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.
– Isaiah 41:10 (The Message)