You know what really toasts my bread? What really bursts my bubble? What really drains my battery?

1. When someone refers to their partner as “the wife.” THE WIFE has a name, sir.
2. When someone refers to their child as “the kid,” or “the boy.” What kind of example are you SETTING for that young, impressionable mind?!
3. I want to come across a table when I hear someone refer to their partner as “the old ball and chain.”

Why-I-oughta…

Names are important.

There is power in a name. Names are defining. Calling her “the wife” insinuates she’s property, not your partner. Calling them “the kid” makes them sub-level, beneath you. And calling her “the old ball and chain” demeans, insults, and hurts, even when it is said in jest.

And let me just pass on a little nugget I learned this year, thanks to my boss friend. I have always addressed envelopes and written cards by using the man’s name first followed by the woman’s:

Sam and Rhonda Scofield

Nay nay, people. Au contraire mon frère:

Outside of the traditional, formal “Mr. & Mrs. John Doe”, the wife’s name is ALWAYS first when using first names: “Jane and John Doe” (1). In social importance, the woman is always first, then males, then children. Traditionally, the man’s first and surnames are never separated. – rules of etiquette from emilypost.com

So, I corrected myself early in the year and have retrained my brained.

Rhonda and Sam Scofield

I’ve written about this already, but this afternoon I heard someone refer to their partner as “the wife” once again, and it shred my newspaper, it broke my internet, it wound my clock. I spent too many years of my adult life feeling less than and losing my identity as Rhonda.

Nay nay.

I am grateful, beyond grateful…