I often sit in silence and think. And I think about the time I was impatient to the extreme and caused harm to my daughters. And I think about my tendency to turtle instead of strut. And I think about my neglect when it comes to phone calls and connection.

I often sit in silence and think. And I think about my choices I have made in my life. I think about how smart I am to my inner self and how dumb I am in reality. I think about the choices in my life that have directly affected those whom I love.

I often sit in silence and think. And I think about the promises I have not kept, about the goals I decided were too lofty, about the life I had dreamed but never saw to fruition. I think about the disappointment I must be to others and to God.

Today, I was reminded that it is TODAY. It is not yesterday.

And so I sit here at the end of my work day and think. I think about the relationship I had with my mom in her last years and how I was so blessed. I think about the relationship I have with my dad now, how healthy he is, how I am so blessed. I think about my brothers who serve others by doing. Doing the hard and the thankless. I think about my sister who fights for the nobodies. I think about their example to me, and I am blessed. I think about my second chance to have a godly marriage and the man who shares life with me, and I am so blessed. I think about a daughter who calls me almost daily and shares details and includes me in her life of raising a family, of how just a few short years ago, I thought it would never be…and now I am so very blessed. I think about the total joy it is to hear the distinct video call ringtone, knowing that when I click the button, a grandchild or several will be right there saying, “Ama! Ama! Ama! Guess what, Ama?!” …and I am blessed beyond any sort of measure.

I often sit in silence. Tonight, I will end this day, and I will love the blessings. I will strive to put aside the regrets and the “maybe somedays.” I will think about His blessings to me.

Every. Last. One.

“This Day”