There is almost nothing worse for lunch than fixing a Chinet plate of smoked ham sandwich with the soft bread and the smoky ham and the crispy Romaine and the Hellman’s and two big slices of Claussen’s sandwich sliced dill pickles…

…only to discover on the first bite that the dills are not dills at all.

BLECH.

I am not very happy with the person who invented bread and butter nastiness and thought it would be funny to  inflict it on the rest of us unsuspecting dill pickle lovers. Why couldn’t they color those things PINK or something, since they have cotton candy flavor in them?! Then we could all tell that they are unnatural sweet, like PICKLES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE.

Bread and buttah belong in the guttah.

However, I AM grateful for Chinet plates during kitchen remodels.

And I AM grateful for Claussen DILLS, for which I shall be purchasing with a keen eye on the label, the next trip to the grocery store.

And I AM grateful for soft bread and smoky ham.

And I AM grateful that there was just enough Hellman’s left in the squeeze bottle for my sandwich.

And I AM grateful that because it is box-elder-bug-white-house-loving season again, they are on the other side of the screened windows while I work and eat my de-pickled sandwich.

And I AM grateful that my Dad is here, along with two really great guys who know how to kitchen remodel while Sam and I are at work.

And I AM grateful that Sam can drink things with ice now and that he doesn’t have to wear gloves on cool morning walks or in order to touch cold or metal things. He can handle a COLD dill pickle jar, woo hoo.

And I AM grateful for memories of CBA concession stands when crazy students actually paid money for little cups of frozen DILL pickle juice. Fundraising entrepreneurs, for sure.

And one more thing. I AM grateful for tacos, especially tacos without pickles. Tacos should not have anything to do with pickles.