Are you grumbly hateful or humbly grateful?
What’s your attitude?
Do you grumble and groan, or let it be known,
You’re grateful for all God’s done for you?

That was a song my Mom used to sing to me on occasion when I was younger.

Tuesday night was Bingo night. I walked in to the assisted living facility, and my regular group of 14 has dwindled to six.

Jim has moved to a full care facility, so I will not have any more mean stares when I tell him he didn’t actually win that game.

Louene, my 100 year old, was under the weather, as was Ken, my right hand man.

Helen has been at a rehab hospital recovering from illness.

Cindy was in the TV room sprawled on the couch not feeling well.

Dotty was confused and so didn’t play.

Betty and Dorothy have stopped playing because it’s too late at 6 pm.

Katherine passed away. Lucy moved to a full care facility, Anne moved back to West Virginia to be close to her son.

And during the hour of Bingo excitement, Happy Barb was confused and thought someone needed to give her a ride to go see her Dad and she has forgotten that she lives there and her Dad has been gone for years.

Norma looked tired but still had a smile as she helped her husband keep track of his numbers on his two cards, dementia beginning to take hold of his mind.

Ruth falls asleep sometimes between numbers, so I try to keep track of her cards for her.

Avis, my left hand “man” and resident Oscar-the-grouch-but-oh-so-loveable, is my informant, keeping me updated on everyone’s “issues.”

Even Betty, steady Betty, who is always so pleasant and clear-headed, was a little off kilter for some reason.

It’s kind of sad to see how my friends are slowing down physically, and a few of them mentally, a blanket of loneliness and resignation covering the dining room where we play. I’ve been with them almost three years now, and they have taken residence in my heart. Sometimes, I don’t know what to say. “What did you all do this week?” just doesn’t work when the excitement of the day is watching Happy Barb ask everyone to take her home…

A few weeks ago, I saw this ad online:

Oh, how it makes me cry. And oh, how it makes me so incredibly grateful for my Bingo friends this year. Each one of them has made a lasting impression on me, and I find myself relating to their lonseome sadness on occasion. Every one of them deserves time. Each one deserves a little more excitement than Barb’s confusion. I am grateful to be reminded that this Christmas, I need to show them that I love them.

I could be a little grumbly, a little Oscar-the-Grouchy about a whole lot this season. And I do catch myself grumbling… Christmas is not all happiness and joy in this heart. It is extremely bittersweet and lonesome. It is sadness and feeling “outsider” as I long for what could be.

But, I am grateful that Mom’s grumbly humbly song is still playing in my head all these years later, and I am humbly grateful for the little things.

Life is what it is, and as Mom also used to say, “Bloom where you are planted.” I will try, Mom, I will try.