I’ve always thought that I had a disability. I lost most of my hearing in my right ear when I was 15 years old. With the loss, I lost the ability to hear a clock ticking, a cell phone alarm when sleeping on my left side, and someone whispering in my ear. I also lost some of my ability to decipher the key of a piece of music. Disability.

I love sleeping with the window open. I love hearing distant crickets and night sounds. I love waking up to the sound of springtime birds welcoming the entrance of a new day and the sunrise.

HOWEVER. There is one sound that makes me want to insulate every crack and crevice and hibernate underneath the mattress.

The sawing-grating-annoying-as-bad-as-fingernails-scraping-on-a-chalkboard sound of…THE KATYDID.

Katy did decide she wanted to park her home just outside our bedroom window. Katy did decide she wanted to saw her song all night, every second of every hour of every day of every week of every month through the summer. Katy did decide that the inhabitants of our home must listen to her orchestrations as we attempt to sleep. Katy did determine that she must have the best voice in all the neighborhood and it is her duty and “calling” to share that voice until her very last breath.

She can’t be the garden variety katydid. OH NO. She has to be the giant Malaysian katydid:

I have watched the illumined digital numbers on the DVR clock change from 12:22 to 1:14 to 3:36 to 4:57. I have stared at the ceiling fan hoping some swooping night bird would decide it was time for a katydid snack. I have driven myself crazy counting her sawing one-two-three-four-five-six-seven rhythm and she makes me mad at 2:51 when she only does a one-two-three-four-five and leaves out six-seven. From one “musician” to another, you don’t mess with the rhythm, KATYDIDN’T.

But last night, and why last night I have no idea, maybe I was at the point of no return, maybe God decided to grant me favor, maybe this 50 year old brain had a moment of clarity, but last night, I was able to find some quiet, glorious peace at last.

I tossed, I turned, I counted sawing rhythm, I tried to recite scripture but was interrupted by katydidn’t mistakes, I attempted to plan Thanksgiving but kept thinking about swooping bird monsters and tubes of caulk. And then, I happened to actually turn on my left side a certain way, and, THE SOUND WAS GONE. The machine magically turned off and I heard NOTHING, but visions of angels mouthing “Hallelujah!” in total silence filled my sleep deprived night sight.

I am so very grateful today for my deaf ear. Not only am I able to block out what someone said to me in secret, I am now able to block out the insect construction site outside the window.

Katy, you did your damage. You done did. And after all these years, my deaf ear conquered.