I love clean. I love the smell of clean. I love those who clean. I even have moments of loving the act of cleaning.

But what I really really really don’t love is cleaning a shower.

I would clean dirty toilets all the day long. Just please don’t ask me to clean showers all the day long.

First of all, a shower is a monstrosity. It’s not a sink.  And, you can’t exactly spray and wipe, because it mostly requires water.

Picture Rhonda scrubbing the walls of the shower to her cleaning heart’s content.

Picture Rhonda having to do this with bare feet because the monstrosity is too monstrous to lean inside – Rhonda has to get inside to scrub, and you can’t clean a shower and leave the floor of the shower un-cleaned, but if she gets in the shower with shoes on, or as Rhonda likes to be while she cleans, in her socks, she will track cleaner and gook all over the house, so bare feet is her only option.

Picture Rhonda cleaning this in-dire-need-of-cleaning monstrosity while breathing in her precious clean fumes that she so loves, filling her lungs with poisonous particles that make her cough uncontrollably.

Picture Rhonda standing in scrubbed, sudded, it’s-now-beginning-to-cake-on shower, trying to figure out a way to rinse the scrubbed walls and doors without getting…wet. Huh uh. Not on this planet.

Picture Rhonda looking like a drowned rat and less-than-happy.

I am grateful that I am not a professional shower cleaner.  Or maybe I shouldn’t be grateful for that. Maybe my life would be much easier if I WERE a professional shower cleaner, because then I might be skilled at it and wouldn’t dread it so much and the showers at home would sparkle and shine a little more often.

I am grateful for sparkly, shiny showers after the drowned rat cleanings.

I am not so grateful for those who then use the shower and cause them to need to be cleaned once again.

But I am grateful for clean people in my house, people who smell Irish Spring sensational, or Coast-y clean, or Bath & Body Works wonderful, or Dove delightful.

It was a TREAT when Mom would buy this. But did it REALLY work? I would like Mr. Bubble for showers, please.

I am grateful for the person who is going to invent a disposable shower – one time use and then with the push of a little button, it washes down the drain only to reveal a brand new shower all ready for the the next person. Or the person who is going to invent a microwave shower cleaner experience. Push the little fancy keypad and it microwaves the soap scum/dirt/hard water deposits/mildew/mold away in seconds. Push another little fancy button on said fancy keypad, and loveliness in the form of Pine Sol smell fills the room.

Now THAT would make this drowned rat vewy vewy gwateful and the showers in the house would get cleaned a lot more often…

1. I am grateful for the satisfaction of breaking a dirt clod between my fingers.

2. I am grateful for the inside grin when I hear someone say “for pity’s sake.”

3. I am grateful for a grilled steak with melted butter drizzled on top.

4. And I am grateful for the treat of having a visitor watch us work on Mom and Dad’s hope chest in the garage yesterday.

I am grateful today for my sister and my husband. They keep me grounded when my emotions get a little out of whack.

I am grateful today that it is Bingo day. My prizes are ready, and the bank had enough gold dollars for me.

I am grateful that every once in awhile, a memory comes back that makes me smile. Recently, thoughts of singing the Austrian yodeling song with my elementary students brought some forgotten joy to surface.

I am grateful today for little earbuds and a $4 radio to shut out drama.

I am grateful today for a goofy picture of my grandson.

I am grateful today that tomorrow is our small group’s first opportunity to serve a meal together.

I am grateful today that I don’t have a big fat Rolls Royce that turns heads.

I am grateful today for my husband who likes getting up in the early morning hours to walk with me.

I am grateful today that my church women’s group has created a Gratitude journal and is focused on gratitude this month. For once in my life, I don’t feel like I am behind but feel like I might have a little bit of a clue how to do this thing.

I am grateful today for memories of licking rock salt.

I am grateful today that bickering with my husband is not a part of my world.

I am grateful today for the rough of a kitten’s tongue.

I am grateful today for bendy straws.

And I am grateful today for the words to “God Leads His Dear Children Along.” I wish that when I die, an all day singspiration could be had and I could be present. I would request quite a few songs and I would make sure everyone had all-they-could-eat french fries and chocolate custard from Freddies.

In shady, green pastures, so rich and so sweet,
God leads His dear children along;
Where the water’s cool flow bathes the weary one’s feet,
God leads His dear children along.

Refrain:
Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Some through the fire, but all through the blood;
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song,
In the night season and all the day long.

Sometimes on the mount where the sun shines so bright,
God leads His dear children along;
Sometimes in the valley, in darkest of night,
God leads His dear children along.

Though sorrows befall us and evils oppose,
God leads His dear children along;
Through grace we can conquer, defeat all our foes,
God leads His dear children along.

Away from the mire, and away from the clay,
God leads His dear children along;
Away up in glory, eternity’s day,
God leads His dear children along.

I am grateful:

• for lavender in color and in smell.
• for the privilege of walking out the door and not having to dwell on work until the next morning.
• for shoes not muddy.
• for a nap in the middle of the day.
• for my daughter who calls me.
• for my daughter who does not.
• for a home that smells halfway decent.
• that our basement does not smell musty awful like what I experienced a couple of hours ago.
• for chipmunks.
• for a really fun message at church yesterday with a message about coming home, going home, and cheering others on while they “run the bases.”
• for hymns that flood my memory with sweet thoughts.
• that I don’t have to sing or play “Be Glorified” or “I Love You, Lord” anymore. Love the message, cannot STAND the choruses.
• for the sound of a very quiet home…until I become sad about missing the world of six little lives.
• for my new favorite chocolate cake recipe. I am so proud of myself for finding one that is from scratch and worth sharing with others.
• for chair pads that protect the floor.
• for oatmeal from McDonalds.
• for fresh breath.
• for Listerine and its hidden secret – it repels mosquitoes! No, you don’t have to breathe like a dragon. You just put it in a spray bottle and mist the patio before you enjoy the evening/party/morning/cookout/picnic.