I am grateful for a new week. Although this one will be hard, I am grateful that we have all been able to move on and have such beautiful memories of Mom.

I am grateful for a short visit with Steve yesterday. I love that my oldest brother thought enough to call me twice, just to tell me “Happy Birthday” and that he was sorry he had forgotten.

I am grateful for a little girl that I saw in a restaurant who reminded me of Anissa, and a little boy at a basketball game on Saturday who had the same sweet face as Parker.

I am grateful for laughter with my niece and her parents on Saturday.

I am grateful for the sound of four eighth grade girls singing happily in the back seat of the vehicle on Friday night as we all embarked on an evening of fun downtown.

I am grateful for those same eighth grade girls who shared about an hour of breakfast conversation with us on Saturday morning.

I am grateful for my husband, who went with us on Friday and helped with the party, stayed up and played a game with the girls that night, and then was up early on Saturday morning, helping in the kitchen to get breakfast ready and have a cozy fire in the fireplace, and then sat with the girls all through breakfast and just enjoyed getting to know them.

I am grateful for Betty Crocker Cherry Chip box cake. It makes the best cookies and cake, and I am craving it right now. I don’t care what you say about processed food…Betty Crocker was a genius.

I am grateful for the message yesterday at church. I felt like I had been to school, and I just couldn’t soak it in fast enough. I want to get online this week and listen to the message again, it was so good. Our pastor is doing a series on the life of Jesus and Sunday’s message was entitled, “Did Jesus Really Say That?”  He began by asking whether Jesus actually said all of the things the gospels actually attribute to him. Back in the 1990’s, a group of 74 scholars known as the Jesus Seminar concluded that of all the words attributed to Jesus in the gospels, only about 18% were likely spoken by him. Was it true that 82% of what the gospels attribute to Jesus he never said? Obviously, Adam disagreed with the book written about the findings, but he went further, explaining why and giving us a history lesson, too. He taught us about the differences between the way Matthew/Mark/Luke were written as opposed to the book of John, and why those differences mean anything.  He tackled the issues that many Christians wonder but are too timid to ask about how we’re to make sense of some of the more difficult sayings of Jesus. And he finished with the central message of Jesus and how that message speaks powerfully to every part of our lives.  It was SO GOOD. It makes me want to go to the book store and begin studying the synoptic gospels indepth. I can’t believe I just wrote that. I’ve always wanted the easy answer handed to me on a platter…

I am grateful to have been able to watch a pretty exciting football game last night, and even though the 49ers didn’t win, it’s okay. The SuperBowl should be a great game this year. I wonder who Zak and Katrina will root for, since it’s Denver and Seattle.

I am grateful for miniature irises that I found at the grocery store that are perfect for the office.  Another “touch” of Mom this week for me to enjoy.

And I am grateful for the hymn “I Love to Tell the Story.” It was one of the hymns at church yesterday, just before the message, and it brought tears to my eyes because of the chorus. Mom was on my mind, and I just know she is in Glory, basking in Jesus’ love:

I Love to Tell the Story

 I love to tell the story of unseen things above,
Of Jesus and His glory, of Jesus and His love.
I love to tell the story, because I know ’tis true;
It satisfies my longings as nothing else can do.

I love to tell the story, for those who know it best
Seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest.
And when, in scenes of glory, I sing the new, new song,
‘Twill be the old, old story, that I have loved so long.

I love to tell the story, ’twill be my theme in glory,
To tell the old, old story of Jesus and His love.

I am grateful for today, my parents’ anniversary.

I am grateful that I have memories of a year ago – several of us were lingering in the kitchen in the morning, the sun had come up, and Mom was in her new hospital bed by the living room window. We didn’t want to disturb the scene, as Dad came out of the bedroom ready to face the new day that was before him, heading straight to Mom’s side. He held her hand and leaned in close, telling her “Happy Anniversary” and told her he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else on this day. And then he sat with her for what seemed like hours, just holding her hand and running his fingers through her hair and watching her. There were soft whispers for her and a devotion to her that was so touching…It was one of the most romantic experiences I’ve ever witnessed, and it made me love my Dad all the more. I remember feeling like we were invading their personal space but so grateful that we were able to glimpse this forever love.

I am grateful that my Dad is taking the weekend to rest and reflect. Thank you, Lord, for watching over him and for holding him tight.

I really didn’t like the cold, biting wind walking in to work this morning, so I need to be grateful for the cold, biting wind.

Because without a little wind, wind chimes would be silent.

Because without a little wind, exercise would be even more unpleasant.

Because without a little wind, kites could not fly, sailboats could not sail, and windmills could not turn.

Because without a little wind, my body wouldn’t have need to brace itself and gain strength.

Because without the wind, I wouldn’t have need for my warm coat, gloves, or scarf.

Because without the cold wind, I wouldn’t have the pleasure of breathing in that crisp air that seems to clean out and fill up my lungs.

Because without the wind, I wouldn’t have that extra reminder that God is always with me, even if I can’t see Him.

I am grateful for the chickadees that might have discovered there is food at the table this morning. They are curious, I believe, but haven’t sat down and pulled up a chair just yet.

When everything seems to be going against you,
remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
– Henry Ford

I am grateful for the quiet of the night in front of the fire, watching a video of Mom that I discovered on my phone, taken one year ago.

I am grateful for memories of this day last year, playing hymns for Mom on the borrowed keyboard from church/choir, and accompanying for Karissa in the living room of the apartment so she could sing for her Grandma one more time.

I am grateful for select-a-size paper towels.

I am grateful for a full tank of gas this morning – thank you, Sam.

I am grateful for a belated birthday voicemail from Steve.

I am grateful for the opportunity this evening to celebrate Abbie and participate in a fun evening with her and her friends.

I am grateful for memories of Anissa walking around in the apartment last year, wearing GG’s pink fuzzy slippers.

I am grateful for wild rice/pasta/chicken soup that Joyce shared with me for lunch.

And I am grateful that I have a thankful heart today, that I am not worrying about tomorrow, that I am able to look for miracles and blessings in the most mundane of days. I am grateful that I am living above my circumstances while living in the midst of them. This song is playing on my internal jukebox today:

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I am grateful for emails back and forth with Erin and Geri. I feel like I’ve won the lottery.

I am grateful that I have learned to live with less and I am not dependent on a credit card; two more good things that have come from the past three years.

I am grateful for cream cheese frosting.

I am grateful for this wisdom that was shared with me yesterday in a Skype message: “What is it about God’s plan we don’t understand?  Sometimes, we have to just let Him take us.”

I am grateful for window cleaners – watching these guys on the side of the building this morning when I walked in to work made me appreciate the fact that my feet were on solid ground, rather than hanging from a rope six stories up.

I am grateful that I don’t watch the shows that I used to be so addicted to – The Bachelor, Big Brother, Real Housewives, Project Runway, etc. Last night, we were able to enjoy watching the end of the Spurs game while we chopped and diced, and it’s so nice to not be tied to programming any longer, besides keeping the garbage out of my mind.

I am grateful for time in the kitchen last night, making a meal for my co-worker with Sam. It went twice as fast with someone else chopping and mixing and stirring…besides, it was nice to have someone to talk to while we worked.

I am grateful for Mom’s/Grandma Johnson’s recipe for pan cinnamon rolls.

I am grateful for the anticipation I feel waiting on the birds to finally discover the feeders outside. Still waiting…

I am grateful for time spent at dinner with Danny and Jan last night.

I am grateful for memories of video scavenger hunts with Karissa and Katrina and their friends while I work on creating a cell phone camera scavenger hunt for tomorrow night. I hope that Katrina has that video of her group building a pyramid or talking to the Braum’s employee in the drive-thru or of her swallowing a goldfish…

I am grateful for paper napkins.

I am grateful for sleep.

I think I could actually take a trip and have just one spare change of clothes. My obstacle at this point in life is my hair. Or my inability to do anything different with it. I seem to need “stuff” to make it look decent. I am attempting to grow it out so that I could just put it up in a ponytail – however, I think the easier solution would be to go all out “Angela” and cut it off. I see my sister and get so jealous of how good she looks and how simple her hairstyle is. Wow. I squirreled on that topic. What I was getting at was the fact that I really liked this devotion about de-cluttering and living with less. My challenge for the winter is to fill 40 bags to give away, just like the idea above. Take that idea along with Jen Hatmaker’s “7” book and her life-changing reductions, and maybe by spring, I’ll be able to ditch the hair dryer and straightener. MAYBE.

With airlines charging us extra fees if we want to take our suitcase with us on vacation, more people are learning to take less. Even on overseas trips, many seasoned travelers pack little more than a change of clothes and a toothbrush. Garments can be washed out in a sink at night, and other supplies can be picked up as needed. Traveling with a half-empty backpack is a liberating adventure.

The same is true of life. The more we acquire, the more we have to tend. Everything requires attention and maintenance. Costs increase. An escalating lifestyle brings accelerating pressure. Pretty soon our possessions possess us.

Rather than being upwardly mobile, why not deliberately downsize? Constantly be de-cluttering. Pour your money into eternal investments and live simply.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon admitted that he found little lasting satisfaction in his houses, vineyards, orchards, servants, herds, tools, toys, and treasures. (2:4-11) Real joy was found in the simplest acts of eating, drinking, working hard, and laboring for the Lord (2:24).

For a better trip, throw a Bible in your backpack and travel light. 

Tears are more special than smiles. Smiles can be for anyone, but tears are reserved for those you really love…

I am grateful for very busy days at the office when the bosses are preparing to leave for an island getaway. Today has been a multi-tasking day. Love the change.

I am grateful for a sweet email from Lisa with this picture that Mom would have scolded me about, because it has a bad word in it:

I am grateful for this caffeine headache that reminds me I am doing something good, weaning myself off of so much iced tea and saving $1.09 every day.

I am grateful for my Bingo group! Tuesday nights are so rich. I love my friends at The Gables. I wish I could spend more time with them. I gave them crossword/sudoku/word search books and some banana bread for their prizes. And the blackout winner, Stan, received the standard four quarters AND a bonus $2 bill.

I am grateful for the opportunity to take Danny out for dinner this evening and find out what he’s been learning at our church this week and hear about he and Glenda’s future plans and fun trips that are coming up soon.

~~~~~

I am grateful for memories of this day last year. I had been back to work for one day, from my trip to Fort Worth, and I got a call from Dwight shortly after lunch. He had gone to visit Mom during his lunch break and found her asleep at the kitchen table, almost ready to fall out of her chair. I left work, found Angela at a basketball game, and Sam, Angela, Rachel and I headed to Hutch that evening. I remember sitting in the living room with Mom and Dad, Dwight and Marlene, Angela and Rachel, and Sam having the discussion about calling Hospice. Mom had been so hesitant, but in the quiet of the night with all of us there, she knew it was time. Oh, that was so hard, but I am so grateful for Hospice. A nurse came that night and got Mom started on her new medicine and walked us through the first steps of this emotionally painful journey in which we were about to embark. I cannot even begin to imagine the emotion Dad was feeling. He was such a rock, and it did my heart wonders to watch him sit beside her, holding her hand, being so attentive to her. To witness that love and adoration was priceless…

Mom, about three weeks earlier, at the Johnson reunion…and Mom, on Wednesday, January 16, 2013.

And I am grateful for healing tears.

Sustain. It’s a word that means “to support, to hold, to bear up from beneath, to bear the weight of.” 

I am grateful that I have co-workers who love each other and support/sustain each other in the best of times, as well as the worst of times. Today is a great example. Emergency last night, pacemaker today. Not for me, but for a co-worker who has no family here right now. Rally the troops.

I am grateful for this song:

Let Them See You – Colton Dixon

I am grateful for this devotion that I read this morning in the quiet of the kitchen while I listened to the breeze outside, waiting on my “feathered friends” to show up. They didn’t, but He did.

Let Me bless you with my grace and Peace. Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you. Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My Peace.

It is easy to touch up your outward appearance, to look as if you have it all together. Your attempts to look good can fool most people. But I see straight through you, into the depths of your being. There is no place for pretense in your relationship with Me. Rejoice in the relief of being fully understood. Talk with Me about your struggles and feelings of inadequacy. Little by little, I will transform your weaknesses into strengths. Remember that your relationship with Me is saturated in grace. Therefore, nothing that you do or don’t do can separate you from My Presence.

1 Samuel 16:7; Romans 8:38-39

I am grateful for wheat Chex to snack on today.

I am grateful for two new bird feeders – I can’t wait for new friends to show up and feast.

I am grateful for exciting college basketball games to watch.

I am grateful for really smart, witty “Good Morning, America” anchors who make me laugh.

I am grateful for the most beautiful birthday card from my Dad that I received last night. I do not recall ever receiving a card from just my Dad, and his words were priceless and brought tears to my eyes. I will keep this card forever.

From my devotion book from Dad this morning:

“Like the giant pillars of an unshakeable bridge, the promises of God bear us up from beneath. His everlasting arms sustain us through every storm.”

Under every condition, in every circumstance, for every burden, in every need, through every sorrow, Christ, the source and sustainer of life, is more than sufficient. – A.L. Faust

I am grateful for co-workers who shared a birthday cupcake with me yesterday.

And I am grateful that I can be saturated in grace this month, while I allow myself to be saturated in Grace, re-living my Mom’s final days one year ago this month. I am so grateful that I am surrounded by not only people who will help to “sustain” me, but I am surrounded with God’s Presence, the Sustainer of life, and He is more than sufficient for me.

Try to view each day as an adventure, carefully planned out by your Guide. Instead of staring into the day that is ahead of you, attempting to program it according to your will, be attentive to Me and to all that I have prepared for you. Thank Me for this day of life, recognizing that it is a precious, unrepeatable gift. Trust that I am with you each moment, whether you sense My Presence or not. A thankful, trusting attitude helps you to see events in your life from My perspective.

A life lived close to Me will never be dull or predictable. Expect each day to contain surprises! Resist your tendency to search for the easiest route through the day. Be willing to follow wherever I lead. No matter how steep or treacherous the path before you, the safest place to be is by My side.

This is the day the Lord acted;
we will rejoice and celebrate in it! – Psalm 118:24 (CEB)

I am grateful for people who whistle.

I am grateful for TWO birthday cards from Delores – they made me cry happy tears on Friday.

I am grateful for birthday Facebook messages from Cindy and Lisa.

I am grateful for a wonderful surprise from Sam on Friday evening when I got home. We spent the evening on the Plaza, and he made me feel so very special.

I am grateful for my sister who invited us to go bowling with them on Saturday evening and gave me a chocolate cake in the parking lot afterwards.

I am grateful for another wonderful birthday surprise from Shirley and Rob that arrived in the mail – Olivia books and toy, and Cheezits and peanut butter M&M’s. Shirley knows me too well… And, I can now start my Olivia collection again. Yay!

I am grateful for a birthday song from the choir that appeared on my Facebook page.

I am grateful for an email from Mandrae on Saturday night.

I am grateful that we were able to take a long walk on Saturday and again on Sunday.

I am grateful for a beautiful Saturday morning breakfast at Chaz.

I am grateful for really skilled waiters who take the time to care and know their menu very well. A waiter can make or break a meal.

I am grateful for a birthday text message from Michelle.

I am grateful for birthday emails from Geri, Terry, Rhonda, Bonnie, and Erin.

I am grateful for memories of eating at Alfredo’s with Melissa Lewis for our birthdays and celebrating January birthdays with the CBA lunch ladies.

I am grateful for the treat of having Rachel and Angela sing “Happy Birthday” to me at the bowling alley.

I am grateful for time to have an iced tea at McDonald’s with Lynn and Susan.

I am grateful for a hug from Lisa at church yesterday morning.

I am grateful for a surprise phone call from Barb on Saturday and so glad she and Merlin were able to attend Resurrection Downtown and celebrate their pastor’s birthday in Kansas City with friends.

I am grateful for Sam, who is thoughtful to walk on the street side to protect me, because that’s what a gentleman does.

I am grateful that I was able to go to the doctor with Anissa to get her cast off one year ago today.

I am grateful that AT&T lowered the monthly cell phone bill by $50.

I am grateful for Jack Stack Crown Prime Rib. I’m sure it will be at the banquet table in Heaven.

I am grateful for a beautiful view of the Plaza and grateful for the stillness of the night to enjoy it all alone from the 7th floor.

I am grateful that I work with friends who are the best employers in the world, both of whom made me feel very loved this morning.

And I am grateful for friends who remembered my birthday and took the time to reach out and wish me a nice day on Saturday. Each day is full of surprises and I love how my devotion this morning reminded me that every day is a precious, unrepeatable gift. As I’ve been reminded many times, life is too short to live in bitterness, regret, shame, and anger. I am blessed every single day and I love how God is opening my eyes to even the smallest of blessings, moment by moment.

I am once again grateful for Karissa Beth. She is 30 years old today and one of the most precious gifts I’ve ever been given. 

I am so grateful for the memories I have of my daughter.  She weighed 4 lbs, 8 oz when she entered this world, and I remember thinking she was just like a tiny doll – the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. All of the other babies in the nursery were large and fat, and she was this small little thing that was perfect from head to toe. She was MINE, and she was even more special because she was a surprise, six weeks early. 

Karissa was a perfect baby – rarely cried and had such a happy smile for everyone. I loved dressing her in pretty clothes and showing her off to anyone and everyone. She was the student in class in elementary who never caused problems, was quiet and sweet and did as she was told. She was always so careful to please and respect her elders, and she was always sensitive to the underdog. 

In junior high and high school at Elyria, her personality really changed and she came into her own, developing a love for athletics and music, while being a part of a great group of friends who were the recipients of her many practical jokes and pranks.

She continued her love of sports and music at Central Christian and excelled in both, resulting in scholarships for college and recognition well deserved. 

While at Barclay, Karissa again made me so proud with her achievement in volleyball and basketball, and it was during this time, she met her future husband, Mandrae. 

Since her graduation from college, Karissa and Mandrae have become parents to four children and live in Texas. Karissa has made me so proud becoming a Mom to these four, and I miss her and them every day.

~~~~~

I am grateful for memories of her always changing her mind – her bedroom decor changed with the seasons. I am grateful for memories of her ridiculous exaggerations that made us laugh. I am grateful for memories of her photographs. I am grateful for memories of hearing Karissa and Katrina laughing so hard together. I am grateful for memories of listening to her sing in a recording studio in Malibu. I am grateful for memories of her playing the part of “Maria” in “The Sound of Music.” I am grateful for memories of playing the piano for her when she sang. I am grateful for memories of her singing “Jesus, Name Above All Names” as a little girl. I am grateful for memories of her on a little cassette tape that we made for Clare and for my parents. I am grateful for memories of her and her Elyria friends all having so much fun down in the basement. I am grateful for memories of car rides home from school every day, hearing all of the drama from the day. I am grateful for the trips I was able to take to visit her at Barclay. I am grateful for the memories of all of her schoolwork and art that I kept in a box. I am grateful for the miracle of the internet, so I can google her name and listen to her sing a few songs. I am grateful that Karissa is hardheaded and extremely sensitive and is loyal to her Dad and loves being with her sister. I am grateful that she values family time. I am grateful that she found a man who loves her and grateful for memories of their beautiful wedding that held such meaning. And I am grateful that she loves Jesus and is raising her children to love Him, too. 

Happy birthday, Karissa Beth. I love you and am so grateful you came into my life 30 years ago.

Glorious – having a striking beauty or splendor that evokes feelings of delighted admiration.

I am grateful for joy.

I am grateful for hunger pains and cravings and the ability to work through them and not indulge.

I am grateful for a new opportunity to become a CASA advocate here in Kansas City. I have wanted to do this for such a long time, and now it seems the door may be opening.

CASA for Children

I am grateful that God has brought me to this place in life – a place where I am living what I profess. As I was listening to the music on KLOVE this morning on my way to work, it hit me that the words to the song, “Your grace is enough…” used to be just words to a song, and I might have professed those truths, but I was not living them. I was such a Pharisee. I had such bitterness inside and treated some people “nicely” but talked about them in a negative light when they weren’t around.  If God shows me enough grace to cover my multitude of sins/failures/shortcomings, I MUST do the same for others in order to be a living testimony.

I am grateful for a handful of Sam’s Club gluten-free multi grain crackers, since I forgot my leftover burrito for lunch.

I am grateful for the opportunity to have dinner with Ian and Abbie last night. Those two kids are so enjoyable to be around. It was especially noticeable to Sam and I that Ian said “thank you” several times – you just don’t find that trait in kids these days, and we were impressed. Mom always used to say, “It makes you want to do something nice for them AGAIN.” Yes, it sure does. And when kids DON’T say “thank you,” it has the opposite effect.

I am grateful for the best hot chocolate. Thanks, Angela, for reminding me of Mom’s recipe. I remember her huge Tupperware container that she used to mix that stuff up. Now I want to make it this weekend, because I am craving the best hot chocolate. I need a huge Tupperware container. Will a small trash can work?

I am grateful for Dove chocolate messages:

Chocolate DOES bring a little bit of joy.

Joy really IS contagious.

And finally, I am grateful for this song and the joy and hope it gives to me. It’s been playing on my internal jukebox all morning:

What a Day, GLORIOUS Day That Will Be

There is coming a day,
When no heart aches shall come,
No more clouds in the sky,
No more tears to dim the eye,
All is peace forever more,
On that happy golden shore,
What a day, GLORIOUS day that will be.

What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face,
The One who saved me by His grace;
When He takes me by the hand,
And leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, GLORIOUS day that will be.

There’ll be no sorrow there,
No more burdens to bear,
No more sickness, no pain,
No more parting over there;
And forever I will be,
With the One who died for me,
What a day, GLORIOUS day that will be.

I am grateful for caffeine to keep headaches at bay, but more grateful for a new resolve to drink more water this year and slowly decrease my iced tea intake.

I am grateful for rest.

I am grateful for memories of vacations.

I am grateful for a time in my life that was instrumental in my walk with Jesus. I was 15 years old and had a serious motorcycle accident. The verses I held onto for two and a half years were Psalm 46:1-3:

God is our refuge and strength, 
a help always near in times of great trouble.
That’s why we won’t be afraid when the world falls apart, 
when the mountains crumble into the center of the sea, 
when its waters roar and rage, 
when the mountains shake because of its surging waves. Selah

My devotion this morning spoke of these verses:

I am with you and for you. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in Heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don’t be discouraged – never give up! With My help, you can overcome any obstacle. Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very present Helper, am omnipotent.

Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence.

 

Romans 8:31; Psalm 46:1-3; Luke 1:37

I am grateful for this message today – because I want certain things to happen that are not happening, and I was reminded this morning that God sets the pace, not I. I just need to remain in His will and live in His grace and PRACTICE His grace towards others, all the while enjoying the journey with God holding my hand, even when it is not easy.

I am grateful for a special voicemail I received yesterday from a lady at a local jewelry store.

I am grateful for dinner with the Allards last night and lots of laughs as a result of Pete’s stories.

I am grateful for dreary days because they make me appreciate sunny days.

And that makes me grateful for memories of Nanette sending me the Hoops and YoYo card about having a happy, sunny day…

I am grateful for a new opportunity today.

I am grateful for a very funny but horrible news story last night about a “murder by fatal wedgie” that made us laugh. Only in Oklahoma…

And I am grateful for spearmint gum.